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- Drake: “Dad’s having woman problems…” ; Josh: “Dad has cramps?!”
- Drake: “No, he’s seeing another woman!” ; Josh: “Seeing another woman do what?”
- Josh: “He’s into ham radio” ; Drake: “I thought he was Jewish!”
- Drake: “Are you calling me a liar?” ; Josh: “I ain’t calling you a truther!”
- Josh: “Eighth planet from the sun!” ; Drake: “They have eight now?!”
- Josh: “Being at school at night creeps me out.” ; Drake: “Really? That’s how I feel about school during the day.”
- Walter (their dad, when talking about getting their mom an anniversary gift): “uh, go get her some toothpaste. She’s always using toothpaste.” ; Josh: “Dad, there’s $200 dollars here.” ; Walter: “well get her some mouthwash too!...i’m just a man!!”
- Josh: “I hate the fourth grade. It was my awkward stage.” ; Drake: “and this is…?”
- Drake: “Why are you going to be on the news? Did you get locked in the mokey cage again?” ; Josh: “Hey! Those chimps tricked me! The big one took my corn dog and, I mean, I had to go back in there and get it!”
- Josh: “I must be dreaming! Pinch me!” ; Drake: “I’m not pinching any part of you!”
- Josh: “I forgot whether you’d asked for regular or diet soda, so I went for the diet because you’re a model, so you’re probably watching your figure…I mean, not that you need to watch your figure, I mean you have a great body, I mean not that I was looking at it!”
- Cop: “the description said that two Caucasian males were seen at rhe sight.” ; Drake: “See there ya go! We’re not Caucasian, we’re white guys!”
- Josh: “Uh-oh. I just had a bad thought.” ; Megan: “What? That you might grow old, never get married and die alone?”
- Eric (Josh’s friend, referring to Josh’s grandpa with PTSD): “He’s disoriented.” ; Papa Nichols: “What did you call me?!”
- Eric: “oh no no no no, we’re not Germans sir!” ; Papa Nichols: “That’s just what a German would say!”
- Girl in class that Josh teaches: “I couldn’t figure it out, so I asked my mom for help.” ; Josh: “And?” ; Girl: “She couldn’t figure it out either so she asked my dad and then he got mad and went to a motel.”
- Josh: “You want a mouth full of fist?” ; Josh: “You want a butt full of foot?!”
- Josh: “I hope you go bald!” ; Drake: “I hope they cancel oprah!” ; Josh: “You take that back!”
- Drake: “What are you doing in my room?!” ; Josh: “This is the living room and uhh… <points to self> LIVING!!” ; Drake: “yeah not for long!”
- Josh: “Okay, we’ll go to whats wrong with my body dot com.” ; Drake: “whats wrong with my body dot com?” ; Josh: “I have it bookmarked!”
- Josh: “Have you ever been in Megan’s room before?” ; Drake: “She pushed me out the window and told mom I fell.”
- Drake: “You’re kinda a girl, right?” ; Mindy: “if not, I’ve been wearing the wrong underwear.”
- Drake: “I can’t, I’m doing homework.” ; Megan: “you’re watching tv.” ; Drake: “then that explains why I’m failing algebra, doesn’t it?”
jan 18 2012 ∞
jun 21 2012 +
jun 21 2012 +