• dragon age
    • loghain: assassinate him the very same day i met him because it is very apparent upon first sight that this guy's up to no good
    • the archdemon: as per the game except i'd ask to be in the room when alistair and morrigan were hooking up. you know for like. helpful reasons. i'm just a good pal
    • alexius: therapy
    • envy demon: ok there's a few options here
      • i invite a few other demons in and sneak out while they're fighting over who gets to possess me
      • envy sees the state of my life, realizes there's nothing to be envious of, and leaves in embarrassment
    • corypheus: making fun of his hot topic socks until he cries and goes home
  • scream
    • never answering the phone
      • not even once
      • like it's entirely possible i have in fact been targeted by ghostface at some point in my life but who would know? not me. my phone's been on do not disturb since 2006
  • stranger things
    • mindflayer (s2): welcoming him to my twisted mind™
    • mindflayer (s3): oh you didn't pick up an emergency flamethrower after the first incident? could not possibly be me
    • vecna:
      • if i was cursed: have 'islands in the stream' as my song and force him to duet it with me (he's dolly)
      • if i was not cursed: give erica a gun
nov 12 2024 ∞
nov 12 2024 +