"watch a few movies, take a few notes"

january

• scooby doo! and the witch's ghost (01??)
  • honestly falls a little short of what i want in a scooby doo movie but it makes up for it with the hex girls
• the frighteners (0108)
  • haven't seen this since i was too young to see it but saw it anyway
  • absolutely the reason i'm so horny for haunted houses now
• stick it (0109?)
  • still a classic
• step up 2 (0110?)
  • honestly great???
  • only issue was the lack of chemistry between the leads vs the intense chemistry she had with literally every single other character
  • spent the whole movie waiting for nick cannon to show up. why did i think nick cannon was in this
• stigmata (0111?)
  • OG hot priest flick, still enjoyable
  • patricia arquette is such a vibe in this one
• stir of echoes (0112)
  • honestly nice to enjoy a horror piece where i disliked the characters but was still rooting for them (sucks to suck, cloverfield/paranormal activity/house of leaves)
• palm springs (0119)
  • immediate top 10 fav for sure
• the lord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring (0119)
  • probably shouldn't count this because i put it on for sleeping-on-a-plane viewing and immediately conked out, but perhaps i absorbed some vibes

march

• scream (0309)
  • eternal classic, eternal fave
  • when i rewatched the series last summer i realized i fucking hate dewey so watching the earlier entries now is like having your favorite meal and then a fly lands on it
  • i never know what to put on those lists that go around that are like "8 movies to know me" or whatever but this really does gotta be there. formative as fuck
  • sid really had sex in stu's parents' bed with the door open and then used the hairbrush on their end table... like in the greater scheme of things obviously not the worst behavior happening in that house that night, but girl!!
• scream 2 (0311)
  • i love the film class scene but it does make me a little nervous about how one of my classes has been all slasher movies all the time specifically as scream vi drew nearer... rip to us i guess
    • it's not even a film class it's just nerds
  • i get so mad when dewey makes fun of gale's streaks?? she's a solid 11/10 and you're wearing khakis, get it the fuck together man
  • the cassandra scene!!! the cassandra scene!!!!!!!!
• scream 3 (0319)
  • must a movie be "good". is it not enough to simply enjoy the gale + jennifer scenes
    • they should have kissed and i stand by that
  • they really made gale lose her logicality in this one tho and i have to assume it's a coronation street situation where there's only one brain cell in the group and it's sexually transmitted
• scream 4 (0319)
  • this deserved an oscar for best costume design for how they dressed kirby tbh
  • also kirby is everything. this is probably my least favorite movie in the franchise but god i love kirby
• scream 5 (0321)
  • i love sam and tara so much
  • i love gale fucking weathers so much!!!
  • me sleeping peacefully like a little honk-shoo-mimimimi mouse knowing dewey's out of the picture, i'm sorry to be a hater but i do be hating
  • the traditional post-movie "wait so who got killed by which killer" body count... (redacted) what are you even doing with this guy. what is he bringing to the table here
  • here's the thing... billy loomis is a great dad though
    • i know a lot of dads who don't show up for their kid like that. and those dads are corporeal. the fuck is their excuse

april

• the faculty (0403)
  • god it has BEEN a minute
  • forgot this opens with the kids aren't alright. we must stan
  • stokely was who and how i was trying to be circa y2k. icon
  • jordana brewster has always been my everything
  • the fun thing about this movie is going a few years between watching it and then getting to be like "THEY'RE in this?!?" with increasing incredulity. bebe neuwirth?? jon stewart?? salma hayek?!?"
  • ok the stranger things writers have a lot to answer for with all the stuff they cribbed directly from this movie lmfao. like weren't you supposed to be sticking to the 80s.
    • for real you got your jock with layers. your creepy lil photography nerd taking pictures of the hot student journalist. charismatic drug dealer repeating senior year. lesbian (ok in this case "lesbian" but at least they changed that in this millennium's iteration) who calls people "dingus." kid finding a new species of "polliwog" but oops it's actually some kind of creature that's gonna take over the town via hivemind. town literally named herrington
  • if i were in this movie and needed to do coke or whatever for the first time to prove i was not an alien, i would simply not do the whole fucking dose??? that was not smart u guys
  • in high school i remember being like 'yeah i'm a Cinephile but this is a guilty pleasure' and all these years later i'm just like 'i feast solely on garbage. except for this. this is a genuinely good movie'
• the woman in black (0415)
  • are the village folk trying to drive daniel radcliffe out to keep him safe, or because he is from the city? like honestly it could be either. or both
  • ok they almost lost me til shit got even more fucked up in the village lmao
  • this movie truly delivers the greatest horror: when you think all the paperwork is done and then you find more paperwork
  • overall this was kind of... heavy-handed i guess? like kipps reads a death certificate for a seven-year-old boy and then it cuts to a close-up on the drawing kipps' kid did... yes we get it
  • anyway this had a few jump scares but imo it was not scary. amazingly acted but honestly that kinda made the movie worse? like i just kept being reminded of how good this could have been
  • i can't decide if it was a really good bad movie, or a really bad good movie
  • excited to watch the '89 adaptation though
• scream vi (0429)
  • let's fucking goooooo
  • mad they never paid neve campbell......
  • guessed the twist but not the killers lmfao i went in a weird direction
  • KIRBY
  • honestly a very nice indictment of true crime lmfao

may

• fast x (0520)
  • spoilers below!!
  • i hope every director watching this realizes they gotta let jason momoa have fun in movies
    • i quoted that tweet that was like "he's having the time of his life as a supervillainous brunch gay" to my friends like ten minutes in but then he only got exponentially brunch gayer. incredible
  • intrigued and glad that han appears to have drifted (no pun intended) over to the ramsey/tej/rome side of the polycule. the cool kids table if u will
  • when john cena was like "ok so let's take the rocket kayak to my cannon car" i was just like yes babe!!! we are so far beyond logic and reason that i am comprehending the mysteries of the universe!!!!!
  • brie larson in that flared ruffly high-low coat at the secret antarctic black site... brie larson then showing up with guns a-firing while wearing a baby blue pantsuit and sparkly silver sneakers.... no idea what drugs the costuming department was on but this was incredible, no notes
    • also tess/isabel... i am just saying
  • we spent a good bit of the drive home being like "why did they rebuild the toretto house so shittily" but i think i was onto something when i was like "wait maybe they were like 'inevitably someone will get thrown through these floors and walls. let's make them breakaway walls in case it's us'"
  • no u got teary when u heard the see you again instrumental reprise. not me
  • honestly so much happened in this that i will probably just be remembering bits and adding to this list for the next three weeks lmao

summer (i have lost track of when i did things, but i did keep track of what said things were at least!)

• demon house (0813)
  • when u see me typing zak bagans' name please know i'm saying that last name in my head like i'm gollum real mad about my stolen precious, because goddamn this man sucks so bad
  • honestly i need to do my own house flipping show called "unhaunting" where i come into a "haunted" house and tell the homeowners i'm a medium/exorcist who's gonna send their restless ghosts and demons on their way. but i actually get rid of the mold and asbestos and pests and fix the CO2 leaks, and then six months later we come back to see if the ghosts ever came back

hellraiser (0814)

• it has been a minute!! so long i forgot this is labyrinth for sickos
• honestly the only scary part of this movie is how bad both parties in the opening scene need to clean their fingernails
• hellraiser movies so far have not ever scared me which is probably bc every time i see pinhead i'm like "could not be me with all those pins. i sleep on my stomach" and just imagine him getting stuck in the pillow every morning
• kirsty is such a quality final girl
• lord of the rings
• metalocalypse: the doomstar requiem
• metalocalypse: army of the doomstar
• demolition man
• robin hood: men in tights
• megamind
• popstar: never stop never stopping