• pizza
• cabbage

• acoustic cover of 4 minutes
• single ladies / andy griffith mashup
• show me your teeth
• lovestoned
• lucky star (or rainbow high?)

• sofa so good
• adam's ribs
• joanie loves tchotchkes
• desperate housewares
• or disparate housewares?

that already exist

• gayby
• gaymer
• gaysian

that ought to be in broader usage

• pennsylgaynia
• gaycation
• drivegay
• thanksgayving
• speed gayting

• "let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini"
• "did your eyes hurt when you were born? because you're the only girl I've ever loved."
• "to call this 'beyond the pale' would be an insult to pale people."
• "war requiem? more like whore requiem."
• "dramaturgy? more like trauma-turgy."
• "a heart full of larb"
• "onward, christian hipsters."
• "how do you make pot brownies without butter?" (pick-up line ...

• I was late because Mike Lock is broken.
• I hit Mike Lock in the morning when I want to go back to sleep.
• When I was unpacking I found Mike Lock in a box under my bed.
• I'm worried that Mike Lock is wrong; I should have had my period last week.

please help me think of more.

• start composting
• no more canned beans
• communicate with shana daily
• thank you notes

• samuel a maurer
• samantha a mirzoeff
• robert o beahrs
• darlene a radke
• melissa e lopez

• thisiswhyyourefat.com
• lady gaga
• oprah

• bogoroditse devo, rachmaninoff
• samson, regina spektor

• mila kunis / milan kundera
• susan sarandon / susan lucci / sally field

• apple butter
• butter braised brussels sprouts radishes and kohrabi
• herbed walnuts
• soffrito
• cauliflower soup with beet chips
• torn croutons
• caramelized scallops
• leek bread pudding
• duck confit

must do

• catalan beef stew
• grilled cheese
• potato pave
• all other recipes

• incorrectly adding an extra "s" to the end of someone's name (e.g. "julia childs")
• overblown arrangements of "carol of the bells"
• also, most arrangements of "carol of the bells"
• especially the one by trans-siberian orchestra
• also, all songs by trans-siberian orchestra
• ugly sweater parties
• tupperware without lids
• the @ sign

• sam -- liza minnelli
• adam, joshua l -- beyonce
• gstock -- lady gaga
• jeff -- alanis morissette
• dansteele -- martha argerich
• colin 1 -- jacqueline du pre

"people have to learn to distinguish between a 'need' and a 'want'" -hvn

• FEDORA (brown)

• sleepinginairports.com
• puttingweirdthingsincoffee.com

• gay bowling alley
• churracos
• fried oatmeal food cart
• bagel skinz
• "fat people twister": the game show
• deep-fried stuffing
• faghagblog
• manhandle

• intergalactic
• zombie
• crash into me
• sledgehammer
• actually all peter gabriel songs
• fallin' by alicia keys
• he does not actually have this.

• new mown hay
• big sky country
• summer thunder
• the saddest book you ever read
• the only girl I've ever loved
• alabaster altarpiece
• hey mama wolf
• solitary Saturn
• your perfect verse

• target women
• that's gay
• stanford ribosomes
• kimono condom commercial

• blizzard of '96, central PA
• supertyphoon of '09, california

• sky
• woe
• dew

• muscular and chewy
• hauntingly aromatic
• a diesel-like hint and darker mineral presence, like being in a mossy, wet cave

• chocolate stimulus
• mousse and squirrel

• tenzing
• tanzen wir!
• super energy pill
• the franklin badge
• the jane chord
• tangularity
• gamera glasnost
• slow backup technique
• ethel rosenberg and the conspirators

1. "when you get to where you want to be"
2. "the island of doubt is like the taste of medicine"
3. "the world moves on a woman's hips"
4. "there is water on the bottom of the ocean"
5. "he'll keep on digging for a thousand years"
6. "he wondered if he too had made a similar mistake"
7. "the wind in my heart, the dust in my head"
8. "the gentle collapsing of every surface"

• bjork covering "touch me" (the doors)
• mariachi cover of "one more cup of coffee" (bob dylan)
• white stripes covering "(not your) steppin' stone" (monkees)
• devendra banhart covering "the origin of love" (hedwig)
• mary j blige covering "psycho killer" (talking heads)
• jazz band that plays at cheeseboard covering first movement of beethoven's pathetique
• david foster wallace writing an article about the metaph...

I actually hate watching movies

• gates of heaven
• grizzly man
• minority report
• I'm not there
• the searchers
• enter the dragon

• seams to fit
• in full swing
• go figure

• cassoulet
• duck confit
• leek bread pudding

+ adam, dan, tooter

• unseasonable warmth
• wearing glasses
• stalking people
• asparagus season

• spontaneous drunk singalong of the bleeding heart show, possibly around a campfire
• finding out that shana's great-uncle is actually philip roth
• that warren zevon song is actually called "werewolves of thunder", and someone makes a movie with that title using it as the theme song

• (not your) stepping stone
• five years
• space oddity (most of it)
• the origin of love
• hey ya!
• how to disappear completely
• you know I'm no good
• heaven
• reckoner
• as a consequence, the reckoner/love lockdown mashup
• wicked game (it's just bm a e)
• cactus
• electric feel (am7 em f / g em f)
• the bleeding heart show
• running out of fools
• if it be your will

• bombs over baghdad (outkast)
• quia respexit humilitatem (bach's magnificat)
• st. elmo's fire (brian eno)
• reckoner (radiohead)
• return of the frog queen (jeremy enigk)
• most of quatuor pour la fin du temps (messiaen)
• also joie du sang des etoiles (messiaen)
• the crucifixion (britten)

q: how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? a: some obscure number you've never heard of.

• pabst blue ribbon
• animal collective

• where have all the cowboys gone?
• somebody told me
• 99 luftballoons
• maybe this time
• jolene
• you know I'm no good
• tiny dancer
• substitute name of friend for "tiny dancer"

• nothelfer (emergency helper)
• tiefensee (deep sea)
• schneeweiss (snow white)

• "we're going to put the limes on his nipples"
• "we have to go back when they open to look for colin's shoe."
• "two guys came out of both bathrooms!"
• "it's not a furry party; it's a costume party."

• 1: message in a bottle
• 2: put the needle on it
• 3: sara and jesus hobo zombies
• 3: lacey and pasha mannequin dance
• 5: addiction

• walt whitman
• gogo yubari
• mothra + two girls that summon mothra
• flo and kay, world's only living autistic savant twins

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/catego...

• group costume: all the robots from mega man 2
• julia child
• werewolf bar mitzvah
• octopus michael jackson
• beavis and butthead (and cher)
• lucy and ethel
• the grinch, stealing christmas
• benjamin franklin
• wile e coyote and roadrunner
• little mac (punch out!)
• ju...

• tina fey
• jim croce
• girl from the blair witch project

• electric feel (mgmt)
• the mollusk (ween)
• weird fishes (radiohead)
• i am the walrus (beatles)

• st. elmo's fire (brian eno)
• buckingham green (ween)
• the upper peninsula (sufjan stevens)
• the great curve (talking heads)
• the abandoned hospital ship (flaming lips)
• white queen (queen)
• dance the night away (cream)

• iranian revolution
• information about bart delays
• finding the creme brulee cart
• tina fey observing, "why do I even chew corn anymore?"

• "I'm not gonna be sick anymore, because an angel told me."
• Prince had a spiritual epiphany that the album was evil and had the album recalled.
• in its current 4m there is a feeling that the NPGMC gone as far as it can go. In a world without limitations and infinite possibilities, has the time come 2 once again make a leap of faith and begin anew? These r ?s we in the NPG need 2 answer.

• gary danko
• garment district
• god damn

• "marrakesh express"
• by crosby, stills, and nash
• not the grateful dead
• "i will get by"
• by the grateful dead
• not the traveling wilburys
• and is actually called "touch of grey"
• "do you love me"
• by the hollies
• I did not actually know that the band that performed this had a name.
• "teeth"
• by lady gaga
• I thought it was sung by a man named alex

• "When someone else is using the regular toilet it’s amazing how quickly one of the most enjoyable moments of my day can become one of the least"

- jess kim, on funky squat toilets in japan

• "There was also a complimentary teacher appreciation luncheon, which I forgot about until after I had already eaten the lunch I packed. I had two lunches today!"

- caroline

• strainer / chinoise
• cheesecloth (cut up old t-shirt?)
• metal tongs
• metal spatula

• okonomiyaki
• korean burrito (with kimchi in it)
• pasties
• cat
• montreal smoked meat

• opening credits: ocean of noise, the arcade fire
• sex scene: ricercar a 6, musical offering, js bach
• whittling montage: insect eyes, devendra banhart
• driving scene: one more cup of coffee, bob dylan
• prostitute gets head beaten in with an oxygen tank scene: downtown, petula clark
• wandering through tenderloin alone at night: come rather goddess sage and holy, gf handel

uncategorized

• my body is a cage, the a...

• crepes on cole
• walk of shame
• moss on trees

• frozen unshelled edamame
• edit: RE-continued!
• california brown rice
• high-pulp orange juice without calcium
• flax pasta

• onion rings
• braised lamb
• I forgot this was even on the list
• popovers / gougeres
• pita
• english muffins
• gnocchi
• mayonnaise
• poutine
• pommes dauphinoise/anna
• something with harissa
• clarified butter + paneer
• preserved lemons

in order of increasing offensiveness:

• peanut butter and jam
• a radial tire and 365 blow jobs
• terri schiavo and a tomato
• sarah palin's mouth and sarah palin's vagina

• tracey does conan
• hard ball / negotiation
• sandwich day
• apollo, apollo
• audition day

• the music man
• cinderella (rodgers and hammerstein version)
• phantom of the opera

seriously, the music man won a tony over west side story?

• washing dishes
• salty fried potatoes
• warm lava-like egg yolks
• multivitamins (placebo)
• mint tea

• gilgamesh (gil for short)
• malaria vaccine
• copernicus laser
• cleopatra laser
• bart and muni (twins of different genders)
• rudielle
• vowel
• eel
• catharsha
• shock

• munitia ballade
• ridonkula akimbo
• nima salami
• robin wing
• costco morpheus
• katt binder

• kindle
• twitter
• the iphone
• foldy bikes
• emoticons

• cooking
• blogging
• choral singing

• star w, for writing like I wish I talked
• jason b, for his ceaseless quest to avoid ever consuming butter, oil, egg yolks, or cheese (and for calling a side salad "uninspired" at a place called "five napkin burger")
• dan r, for reviewing 30 harrisburg area yelpers, the concept of learning a foreign language, and the taepodong 2 ballistic missile
• sean b, for several reviews in which he uses the phrase "...

• are passing cars running their windshield wipers?
• are people carrying umbrellas?
• are there raindrops falling into standing pools of water?

• enter a competitive eating contest
• bike to stanford and back

• kona porter
• moose drool
• boont amber
• poppy jasper
• summer sam
• lionshead (fuck yes)

• lie to someone's face
• say something for no other reason than to hurt someone
• hos before bros
• bid one dollar higher than someone on price is right
• ride a bike on the sidewalk

• glacier national park (before grinnell glacier melts)
• mesa verde national park
• trans-siberian railroad
• bangkok
• berlin again (begin again)
• an anechoic chamber
• peru
• sarajevo
• kvly-tv mast in north dakota
• hoh rainforest in washington state
• qatar (architecture tour)
• the wave, arizona
• false kiva

"one man with god is a majority" -- henrik ibsen (?)

• X3 is a better movie than X2
• brad pitt is not that attractive
• rachael ray is a decent person
• if you are on price is right and you bid one dollar higher than someone that makes you an asshole
• 'living on a prayer' is a better drunk song than 'don't stop believing'

• yummy
• slurp
• gooey
• unctuous
• aioli

• cataclysmic earthquake
• laptop power supply exploding
• gas leak destroying house when I turn on the stove
• drive-by shooting
• plane crashes
• plane I'm in crashing into other plane in midair
• midair two-plane crash above me raining debris onto me

• victor gold
• peter gigante

• magneto
• storm
• doctor doom
• galactus (devourer of worlds)

• thou shalt break them
• he shall purify
• comfort ye
• and suddenly there was with the angel / glory to god
• hallelujah!
• behold the lamb of god
• all we like sheep (second part only)

• coffee table
• craiglist, decoupage
• kitchen table
• get friend with SUV to retrieve from DS's
• VW hubcap clock
• you can do it, sam. believe in yourself
• paintings with song lyrics
• learn to paint
• "i wanna be your little seahorse" -- devendra
• "now how I remember you" -- aeroplane

• trachimbrod
• lakefront brewery in milwaukee on a friday
• beacon street on the first of may when all the flowering trees are in bloom
• washington square park on a summer night

• benjamin britten, war requiem: "recordare jesu pie quod sum causa tuae viae"
• mozart, requiem: "ne absorbeat eas tartarus ne cadant in obscurum"
• nirvana, lithium: entire song

• verbunden (german)
• mangue, boisson (french)
• sacapuntas (spanish)
• аспирант (russian)

• dizzle
• killer
• mevdor
• richard
• snivs
• sakai
• FGS
• carj
• guido
• best friend
• colin 1, colin 2
• roomz
• v-train
• sam's mom
• dansteele

works in progress

• sprinkles
• khalil

• (i'm not your) steppin' stone
• randy scouse git
• i'm a believer
• hey sandy
• roses
• one more cup of coffee
• crazy
• gamma ray!
• cactus

• "there must be something strangely sacred in salt. it is in our tears and in the sea." -- khalil gibran
• "then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the lord in the air." --the bible
• "there is now, in my mouth, this sharp chain. and it never comes out" -- equus

• telegraph avenue (berkeley) and haight street (sf)
• solano avenue (berkeley/albany) and college ave below ashby (oakland)
• palo alto and walnut creek
• union city and alameda

• I dreamed that I dropped acid and was really worried about it, and then I met beck, and then we sang the song "gamma ray" together, a capella (Jan 4 2008)
• I dreamed that someone on the snl writing staff thought I looked like tina fey, so they decided I should replace her on weekend update one night. I couldn't read the teleprompter and messed up really bad, and amy poehler also gave up, so it was a...

• people behind me
• people taller than 6'1"
• people who own iPhones
• people who don't have brown eyes
• people who are particularly tan
• people who wear cologne
• cats

• the predatory wasp of the palisades, sufjan stevens
• casimir pulaski day, sufjan stevens
• the stars of track and field, belle & sebastian
• ocean of noise, arcade fire
• you oughta know, alanis morrisette
• zombie, cranberries
• unravel, björk
• hyper-ballad, björk
• reckoner, radiohead
• acid tongue, jenny lewis
• alone, heart or/and carrie underwood
• in the aeroplane over the sea, neutral milk hotel

november

• visit from colin 1
• figure out something to do in hbg. other than state museum
• hangover brunch
• sths reunion
• pregame with shawna
• embarrass self, but not too much

december

• haircut
• cheesesteaks
• visit nyc (see other lists)
• lancaster B&B with shana
• pretend to be mormon newlyweds
• visit wolf sanctuary
• begin research for novel (tentative title: primal howl)
• cross fingers for quiet snowfall
• meet dan r. with shana
• g...

• cauliflower soup with red beet chips
• caramelized scallops with marble potatoes and radishes in a lemon vinaigrette
• cassoulet, duck confit, leek bread pudding
• cheese course
• chocolate mousse, theo's coffee chocolate

plus

• tooter, dan, adam

• tell them "this might be on the exam"
• tell them the only time available for extra office hours is 7:30 AM
• use the urinal next to them

• is living on a houseboat a good idea?
• is "snow in august" a good book?
• can there be irony in facial hair?
• is mortality a turn-on?

• wearing someone else's clothes
• not flushing after using a public urinal
• being called "buddy" by strangers
• alphabetizing things
• expressions that use both "fuck" and "shit"
• fuck this shit
• what the fuck is this shit?
• holy fucking shit
• shit-eating motherfucker
• fucked the shit out of bears
• reading over people's shoulders on public transit
• folding things into nine sections
• walks of shame
• wearing a sweatshirt without...

(in order of quality)

1. "if I ever get out of here..."
2. "band on the run! band on the run!"
3. "stuck inside these four walls..."

1. voice mail
2. mom (home)
3. mitra
4. ruthie
5. jeff
6. shana
7. dan steele
8. mom (cell)
9. adam

1. sweet potato
2. peanut butter
3. lemon sponge
4. coconut custard
5. cherry

• post-dentist mouth freshness
• first day of unqualified health after a nasty cold
• sleeping in a bed that I just made

• I like to wear ties sometimes
• lots of colors
• threadless t-shirts
• impressive outer layers
• my glasses are blue

• howard
• caroline
• joe
• jed
• bethany

• I mean
• Idonno
• so
• okay

• "well, you know I wish someone would come invalidate my marriage. it's too bad we can't switch places"
• "I mean, if you got a sex change, then your marriage would be invalid in Pennsylvania."
• "why do I have to get the sex change? why can't your father ever do anything?"