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awaiting
perpetually and forever
a renaissance of wonder

bookmarks:
Dayton Names (Guys)
becca books (2022 : read)
Han currently
wanda wishlist (things to buy)
rose literature (unsettling short stories )
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Inspired by smithmag and various lists I've seen around. Every day for a year, I will write a six word memoir about the events that took place, my feelings, etc. Feel free to use this idea but please give me credit. Seriously. Give me credit.

  • April 29, 2012: Even when I'm awake, I'm sleeping.
  • April 30, 2012: Drowning in an ocean of sorrow.
  • May 1, 2012: Just another day of hating myself.
  • May 2, 2012: Can't get out of bed today.
  • May 3, 2012: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
  • May 4, 2012: May the Fourth be with you!
  • May 5, 2012: Why don't people accept my voice?
  • May 6, 2012: I can't stand this shit anymore.
  • May 7, 2012: I know some truly beautiful people.
  • May 8, 2012: Fat fat fat fat fat fat.
  • May 9, 2012: It's so hard to get up.
  • May 10, 2012: I feel so much lighter today.
  • May 11, 2012: This is strange; another good day.
  • May 12, 2012: Days seem to be getting easier.
  • May 13, 2012: How can I sleep so much?!
  • May 14, 2012: This is really stressing me out.
  • May 15, 2012: I really want to kill myself.
  • May 16, 2012: The future is really scaring me.
  • May 17, 2012: Damn. I feel so goofy today.
  • May 18, 2012: Impossible to type with fake nails.
  • May 19, 2012: Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom.
  • May 20, 2012: Rather uneventful day. Starting to stress.
  • May 21, 2012: Totally fangirling over The Avengers. Hard.
  • May 22, 2012: I really want to just disappear.
  • May 23, 2012: Last day of solitude and freedom.
  • May 24, 2012: I really want it to end.
  • May 25, 2012: I am such a fucking loser.
  • May 26, 2012: From one end to the other.
  • May 27, 2012: I can't keep doing this anymore.
  • May 28, 2012: It's so hard to keep going.
  • May 29, 2012: I want to create something big.
  • May 30, 2012: I think I have officially cracked.
  • May 31, 2012: I am worthless. Piece of shit.
  • June 1, 2012: I wish I was fucking special.
  • June 2, 2012: Why can't I get shit done?
  • June 3, 2012: I need to start carpe-ing the diem.
  • June 4, 2012: Sometimes, I really hate the world.
  • June 5, 2012: Massages need to be daily occurrences.
  • June 6, 2012: I wish I was really beautiful.
  • June 7, 2012: I feel creativity coming my way.
  • June 8, 2012: I'm in a tornado of sadness.
  • June 9, 2012: Feeling pretty good today: not bad.
  • June 10, 2012: I'm all over the map today.
  • June 11, 2012: Can't I just stay happy? Please?
  • June 12, 2012: I wish my mom aborted me.
  • June 13, 2012: How can you people stand me?
  • June 14, 2012: Crappy weather makes me feel crappier.
  • June 15, 2012: The boys always make me smile.
  • June 16, 2012: A rather nice day for once.
  • June 17, 2012: I want to live up here.
  • June 18, 2012: Oh my god. The Pie Place.
  • June 19, 2012: I can't be your therapist, too.
  • June 20, 2012: Wah. Starting to feel really homesick.
  • June 21, 2012: Fuck you, rain. I miss home.
  • June 22, 2012: Hallelujah. Home sweet home. Let's sleep.
  • June 23, 2012: What's the point of living, anyway?
  • June 24, 2012: I'm so disappointing to my family.
  • June 25, 2012: Will time just slow down, please?
  • June 26, 2012: I wish I was just comatose.
  • June 27, 2012: Therapy can be so difficult sometimes.
  • June 28, 2012: I try so hard; doesn't show.
  • June 29, 2012: I'm feeling creative and well today.
  • June 30, 2012: Like a feather - how I feel.
  • July 1, 2012: Holy shit. It's July?! Since when?!
  • July 2, 2012: Another sad day. Will it end?
  • July 3, 2012: Get a fucking grip on yourself.
  • July 4, 2012: I eat, breathe, but don't feel.
  • July 5, 2012: I'm a nobody. Plain and simple.
  • July 6, 2012: I start out good, end bad.
  • July 7, 2012: I'm in a really bad place.
  • July 8, 2012: I really need to sleep tonight.
  • July 9, 2012: Um ya ya! Um ya ya!
  • July 10, 2012: I want to capture those feelings.
  • July 11, 2012: Even my therapist can't stand me.
  • July 12, 2012: I am worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless.
  • July 13, 2012: I love being in the water.
  • July 14, 2012: What's the point of fighting anymore?
  • July 15, 2012: I want to kill myself. Badly.
  • July 16, 2012: I got some shit done today.
  • July 17, 2012: I am a worthless human being.
  • July 18, 2012: Need to run away from here.
  • July 19, 2012: I try so hard; no avail.
  • July 20, 2012: Oh, how I long to end.
  • July 21, 2012: These words just can't write themselves.
  • July 22, 2012: I don't want to grow old.
  • July 23, 2012: How long must I keep fighting?
  • July 24, 2012: I have started to cut again.
  • July 25, 2012: Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake: bromance.
  • July 26, 2012: I don't want to do anything.
  • July 27, 2012: Where has my time been going?
  • July 28, 2012: I enjoy time with my friends.
  • July 29, 2012: I need to get a job.
  • July 30, 2012: A rather shitty epiphany occurred today.
  • July 31, 2012: How could anyone ever love me?
  • August 1, 2012: Holy shit. Is it seriously August already?!
  • August 2, 2012: I want to sleep it away.
  • August 3, 2012: Am I going to get better?
  • August 4, 2012: I had a rather light day.
  • August 5, 2012: I love spending time with grandparents.
  • August 6, 2012: Creative muse, please don't leave me.
  • August 7, 2012: I don't deserve to be happy.
  • August 8, 2012: Spiritual crisis: starting to not believe.
  • August 9, 2012: I am so fat and ugly.
  • August 10, 2012: Why do I even try anymore?
  • August 11, 2012: I am the most useless person.
  • August 12, 2012: Hopelessness is infecting my very being.
  • August 13, 2012: Today was a rather easy day.
  • August 14, 2012: I am my own worst enemy.
  • August 15, 2012: Empty words, hollow laughs, dead eyes.
  • August 16, 2012: Depressed depressed depressed depressed depressed depressed.
  • August 17, 2012: Can't breathe in this fucking house.
  • August 18, 2012: I want a bunch of hugs.
  • August 19, 2012: Rest in peace, great great Uncle.
  • August 20, 2012: I love learning my family's history.
  • August 21, 2012: I'm not fucking important at all.
  • August 22, 2012: I don't belong in my family.
  • August 23, 2012: How sweet it is to die.
  • August 24, 2012: Can I please wake up happy?
  • August 25, 2012: Put me out of my misery.
  • August 26, 2012: You are a major hypocritical bitch.
  • August 27, 2012: I need a bunch of hugs.
  • August 28, 2012: I got a little done today!
  • August 29, 2012: Fuck, I really want to die.
  • August 30, 2012: Am I that horrible a person?
  • August 31, 2012: I got a little done today
  • September 1, 2012: I can't fucking stand you anymore.
  • September 2, 2012: I got some stuff today. Yay.
  • September 3, 2012: My heart is aching with loneliness.
  • September 4, 2012: I just want to be happy.
  • September 5, 2012: Off meds: so far, so good.
  • September 6, 2012: Why can't I stop wasting away?
  • September 7, 2012: Depression is a mucus encasing me.
  • September 8, 2012: I just want to be loved.
  • September 9, 2012: How can I be so undesirable?
  • September 10, 2012: I am a big, fat loser.
  • September 11, 2012: Why does my stomach keep hurting?!
  • September 12, 2012: The internet is making me sad.
  • September 13, 2012: Why do so many hate me?
  • September 14, 2012: I just want to be amazing.
  • September 15, 2012: Feeling so inspired to get better.
  • September 16, 2012: Epiphany: my mom is emotionally abusive.
  • September 17, 2012: I try, yet to no avail.
  • September 18, 2012: I feel really good so far.
  • September 19, 2012: Please, Stevie. Just keep it up.
  • September 20, 2012: Today could've been better; still hoping.
  • September 21, 2012: Come on. You can do it.
  • September 22, 2012: Up and down, up and down.
  • September 23, 2012: Nobody would care if I died.
  • September 24, 2012: I will never change the world.
  • September 25, 2012: Sometimes, I just can't do it.
  • September 26, 2012: Full of loneliness, sorrow, and despair.
  • September 27, 2012: Really good day!!! No Internet, though.
  • September 28, 2012: A rather blah and lonely day.
  • September 29, 2012: My mother is a fucking cunt.
  • September 30, 2012: I just want to fade away.
  • October 1, 2012: Low day, but read a book.
  • October 2, 2012: Same lonely and sad feelings today.
  • October 3, 2012: Blah day. So many Delena feels.
  • October 4, 2012: Why can't I get anything done?!
  • October 5, 2012: Shitty day again. Maybe fun weekend?
  • October 6, 2012: I'm going to be alone forever.
  • October 7, 2012: Every. Single. Thing. Is. Fucking. Annoying.
  • October 8, 2012: Eh. I've been better, been worse.
  • October 9, 2012: So close to just giving up.
  • October 10, 2012: I wish I had a gun.
  • October 11, 2012: Crappy day, but omg Vampire Diaries.
  • October 12, 2012: I am sad and so lost.
  • October 13, 2012: Boo. I think I'm getting sick.
  • October 14, 2012: I really dislike having congested sinuses.
  • October 15, 2012: I fucking hate my fucking house.
  • October 16, 2012: I just really want to die.
  • October 17, 2012: Feeling a little bit better today.
  • October 18, 2012: Today was okay. Went to bookstore.
  • October 19, 2012: I had fun out and about.
  • October 20, 2012: I wish I were more independent.
  • October 21, 2012: Dyed my hair. It's so purrdy.
  • October 22, 2012: You make my life so negative.
  • October 23, 2012: I am just so butt ugly.
  • October 24, 2012: Hmm. Inspiration for horror short story?
  • October 25, 2012: Lazy days in bed are nice.
  • October 26, 2012: I feel like I'm spiralling again.
  • October 27, 2012: The party was actually really fun.
  • October 28, 2012: Today has been okay. Kinda sad.
  • October 29, 2012: I'm not having a good day.
  • October 30, 2012: I wish I wasn't so sad.
  • October 31, 2012: So close to just giving up.
  • November 1, 2012: Day one of NaNoWriMo. I'm fucked.
  • November 2, 2012: A good day of writing. Whoo!
  • November 3, 2012: Could have been better. So irritable.
  • November 4, 2012: A good mood today. Feels nice.
  • November 5, 2012: Lighter mood, but still rather melancholic.
  • November 6, 2012: FUCKING ELECTION. Besides that, good mood.
  • November 7, 2012: I'm just so bitter and grumpy.
  • November 8, 2012: I feel like I'm falling behind.
  • November 9, 2012: Nostalgia and melancholy don't mix well.
  • November 10, 2012: Do you want me to fail?!
  • November 11, 2012: I really just want to die.
  • November 12, 2012: A spark of hope can deceive.
  • November 13, 2012: I miss being carefree and young.
  • November 14, 2012: Going back to one middle name!
  • November 15, 2012: I kinda sorta want a boyfriend.
  • November 16, 2012: My loneliness has become quite overwhelming.
  • November 17, 2012: No wonder why people hate me.
  • November 18, 2012: I just want to be loved.
  • November 19, 2012: Living is becoming such a chore.
  • November 20, 2012: Life is becoming way too overwhelming.
  • November 21, 2012: So sad, so lonely, so done.
  • November 22, 2012: Today was actually a good day.
  • November 23, 2012: Why must you bring me down?!
  • November 24, 2012: Life of Pi was so amazing.
  • November 25, 2012: I feel so alone and depressed.
  • November 26, 2012: I want to die so badly.
  • November 27, 2012: Feeling empty, lonely, and just sad.
  • November 28, 2012: Why can't the world just stop?
  • November 29, 2012: Just let me feel happy. Please.
  • November 30, 2012: I just really fucking hate you.
  • December 1, 2012: Feeling so suicidal. Please kill me.
  • December 2, 2012: Why can't I just die?! Please?!
    • Note: tried to kill myself on this day.
  • December 3, 2012: Well. Here I am. Getting better?
  • December 4, 2012: This feels like a bad dream.
  • December 5, 2012: Well, we have a new plan.
  • December 6, 2012: It all still feels so surreal.
  • December 7, 2012: Please stop please stop please stop.
  • December 8, 2012: Repainted my room mint green today.
  • December 9, 2012: The days are still really hard.
  • December 10, 2012: I want to write something amazing.
  • December 11, 2012: So much cool shit I want.
  • December 12, 2012: Life is so hard. I can't.
  • December 13, 2012: The future scares me so much.
  • December 14, 2012: My thoughts with Connecticut and China.
  • December 15, 2012: Anxiety is overwhelming and a plague.
  • December 16, 2012: I wish I felt better now.
  • December 17, 2012: First day alone in a while.
  • December 18, 2012: Oh my god so fucking weird.
  • December 19, 2012: I feel so unimportant and worthless.
  • December 20, 2012: I really just want to die.
  • December 21, 2012: My life is just wasting away.
  • December 22, 2012: I don't like being so lonely.
  • December 23, 2012: Fuck my life. I'm so depressed.
  • December 24, 2012: Feelings of nostalgia making me sad.
  • December 25, 2012: Anxious and low. Nothing new there.
  • December 26, 2012: I'm such a horrible, awful person.
  • December 27, 2012: So much stress. So little happiness.
  • December 28, 2012: I just want a perfect life.
  • December 29, 2012: Sigh. Just going through the motions.
  • December 30, 2012: Can't stop stressing. Make it stop.
  • December 31, 2012: Today was okayish but still low.
  • January 1, 2013: I can't believe it's not 2012.
  • January 2, 2013: Today was a bad fucking day.
  • January 3, 2013: I just really need a hug.
  • January 4, 2013: Forever alone. That's me. Crying. Why?
  • January 5, 2013: I feel like I'm rotting away.
  • January 6, 2013: My life is just slipping away.
  • January 7, 2013: Slowly, painfully, suffocating. I give up.
  • January 8, 2013: I feel so sad and alone.
  • January 9, 2013: I am a waste of space.
  • January 10, 2013: I'm never going to get better.
  • January 11, 2013: Today was good. Not as low.
  • January 12, 2013: I am such a horrible daughter.
  • January 13, 2013: This house is gonna kill me.
  • January 14, 2013: Today was actually really, really good.
  • January 15, 2013: Good moods never last for long.
  • January 16, 2013: I'm trapped on a sinking ship.
  • January 17, 2013: You're the reason I'm so miserable.
  • January 18, 2013: My week has just been miserable.
  • January 19, 2013: I am just an after thought.
  • January 20, 2013: My life just has no purpose.
  • January 21, 2013: Well, my room is looking nice.
  • January 22, 2013: I give but nobody gives back.
  • January 23, 2013: I don't know what I'm doing.
  • January 24, 2013: My life is just wasting away.
  • January 25, 2013: Nobody would care if I died.
  • January 26, 2013: Today has been a positive day.
  • January 27, 2013: I wish I felt more important.
  • January 28, 2013: I think I want to act.
  • January 29, 2013: The universe must really hate me.
  • January 30, 2013: My life doesn't have any meaning.
  • January 31, 2013: I don't want to keep living.
  • February 1, 2013: Maybe, hopefully, I'll start reading again.
  • February 2, 2013: I am just so fucking depressed.
  • February 3, 2013: I kinda hate everybody right now.
  • February 4, 2013: Trying so hard to be compassionate.
  • February 5, 2013: It's just never enough, is it?
  • February 6, 2013: Today was good. Had an epiphany.
  • February 7, 2013: A rather okay, but lazy, day.
  • __February 8, 2013:__Nothing nothing nothing all day long.
  • February 9, 2013: Ugh. I need to eat better.
  • February 10, 2013: Lazy and sad, lazy and sad.
  • February 11, 2013: I kinda love getting spoiled. Hehe.
  • February 12, 2013: I don't want to grow up.
  • February 13, 2013: You ruined my life. Thank you.
  • February 14, 2013: Forever alone. And without Internet. Boo.
  • February 15, 2013: I just want it to end.
  • February 16, 2013: Tries to help, you don't care.
  • February 17, 2013: Stop taking it out on me.
  • February 18, 2013: I just hate it all now.
  • February 19, 2013: I can't keep living this way.
  • February 20, 2013: I really, REALLY loved The Hobbit.
  • February 21, 2013: I want to create something great.
  • February 22, 2013: Lazy day in bed with Supernatural.
  • February 23, 2013: Yet another day spent in bed.
  • February 24, 2013: Life is going slowly, yet quickly.
  • February 25, 2013: I keep getting so anxious lately.
  • February 26, 2013: Today wasn't such a bad day.
  • February 27, 2013: I feel all over the place.
  • February 28, 2013: My mood was a little better.
  • March 1, 2013: I feel so apathetic and exhausted.
  • March 2, 2013: High and low, around I go.
  • March 3, 2013: I just want to give up.
  • March 4, 2013: Panic and anxiety are plaguing me.
  • March 5, 2013: My life truly has no meaning.
  • March 6, 2013: Richard Armitage is so fucking delicious
  • March 7, 2013: I feel like I'm brain dead.
  • March 8, 2013 Overwhelmed by anxiety, despair, and nostalgia.
  • March 9, 2013: I feel so all alone. Sigh.
  • March 10, 2013: My heart just feels so heavy.
  • March 11, 2013: My whole being is so exhausted.
  • March 12, 2013: I simply have nothing to offer.
  • March 13, 2013: I don't know what to do.
  • March 14, 2013: Happy(?) birthday. Went by too fast.
  • March 15, 2013: Post birthday blues... They really suck.
  • March 16, 2013: I'm sinking... Sinking... Sinking... Help me.
  • March 17, 2013: Today was a little bit lighter.
  • March 18, 2013: I'm dying from anxiety and sadness.
  • March 19, 2013: Every attempt at getting better fails.
  • March 20, 2013: I want to create something amazing.
  • March 21, 2013: Put me out of my misery.
  • March 22, 2013: Day by day, I'm slowly dying.
  • March 23, 2013: Another wasted day. Just kill me.
  • March 24, 2013: Way too attached to fictional characters.
  • March 25, 2013: The casino has been pretty fun.
  • March 26, 2013: Reality comes crashing, hard and fast.
  • March 27, 2013: Everything just needs to stop now.
  • March 28, 2013: It feels like I'm brain dead.
  • March 29, 2013: I try so hard to help.
  • March 30, 2013: Read a book today. That's good.
  • March 31, 2013: You always treat me like shit!!
  • April 1, 2013: A little more productive than usual.
  • April 2, 2013: You are the reason I'm miserable.
  • April 3, 2013: Today was a pretty good day.
  • April 4, 2013: I never stay up for long.
  • April 5, 2013: I feel myself falling down again.
  • April 6, 2013: Another sad, lonely, and uneventful day.
  • April 7, 2013: I'm just a waste of space.
  • April 8, 2013: I love seeing movies with Grandma.
  • April 9, 2013: My life has absolutely no meaning.
  • April 10, 2013: Kinda up and down, but okay.
  • April 11, 2013: I can't take this miserable life.
  • April 12, 2013: This melancholy is becoming rather monotonous.
  • April 13, 2013: Why can't I sleep all day?
  • April 14, 2013: I just want to waste away.
  • April 15, 2013: The weather is keeping me down.
  • April 16, 2013: Finally I have a decent day.
  • April 17, 2013: It's so hard to get up.
  • April 18, 2013: I'm just so pathetic and lazy.
  • April 19, 2013: Drowning, although I feel so empty.
  • April 20, 2013: I'm such a lazy, putrid slug.
  • April 21, 2013: I'm never going to find love.
  • April 22, 2013: Living in this house is smothering.
  • April 23, 2013: I just want to write something.
  • April 24, 2013: I wish opening up was easier.
  • April 25, 2013: It gets exhausting to keep trying.
  • April 26, 2013: I wish I was more appealing.
  • April 27, 2013: I really hate who I am.
  • April 28, 2013: I'm sorry for being a failure.
  • April 29, 2013: This year has been completely miserable.
apr 29 2012 ∞
jan 30 2014 +