‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙬 ！

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ✩ .. rating | ♡ .. faves | ϟ .. nandermo | ◬ .. polycule

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 1 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: 3.5✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ the baron tells them to rule america, guillermo accidentally kills him. nadja turns jenna.

• 01 pilot ✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • letter from baron, he arrives. crepe paper. ten year anniversary & glitter portrait. gregor/jeff.
• 02 city council ✩✩✩
  • nadja turns jenna. they go to city countil because baron says they have to conquer america
• 03 werewolf freud ✩✩
  • fight with werewolves. colin at the office with the emotion vampire
• 04 manhattan night club ✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • simon the devious, laszlo's cursed hat, nandor letting guillermo fly
• 05 animal control ✩✩✩
  • laszlo as a bat gets caught and they rescue him. nadja reminds jeff of his previous lives
• 06 baron's night out ✩✩✩✩
  • they go partying with the baron. guillermo accidentally kills him.
• 07 the trial ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡
  • the guide summons them to the trial for the baron's death. movie cameos! guillermo kills another vampire accidentally. they almost die in a well
• 08 citizenship ✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nadja teaches jenna how to become a vampire and jenna turns invisible. nandor tries to become a us citizen.
• 09 the orgy ✩✩✩✩
  • bi-annual vampire orgy. laszlo's porn. guillermo invites his friend to be eaten
• 10 ancestry ✩✩✩
  • nandor's granddaughter, funeral in church, guillermo is a van helsing

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 2 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: 3.5✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ guillermo is a vampire hunter / bodyguard. the vamps are hunted by the vampiric council.

• 01 resurrection ✩
  • gother the familiar, necromancer, gother the zombie
• 02 ghosts ✩✩
  • jeff/gregor ghost, then of the vampires
• 03 brain scramblies ✩✩✩✩
  • "superb owl" party at seanie's (they give him brain scramblies). guillermo infiltrates a vampire hunting group
• 04 the curse ✩✩✩✩ ◬
  • nandor gets a bloody mary email. meanwhile, guillermo is out with his vampire hunting group
• 05 colin's promotion ✩✩
  • colin grows powerful while the others argue about paintings.
• 06 on the run ✩✩✩✩
  • jackie daytona, regular human bartender
• 07 the return ✩✩✩ ϟ
  • simon the devious in the sewer. colin meets a literal internet troll
• 08 collaboration ✩✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nadja and laszlo start a music group. guillermo becomes a familiar for someone else and nandor apologizes to him.
• 09 witches ✩✩✩✩✩ ◬
  • witches want to steal their semen. memo's man milk. laszlo and nandor.
• 10 bouveau théâtre des vampires ✩✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • guillermo leaves, but then has to rescue them from getting killed at the theatre. jemaine cameo!

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 3 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: 3.9✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ the vamps (nandor and nadja) become the vampiric council. (the guide shows up more often.) colin wants to find out about his past, laszlo spends a lot of time with him. nandor becomes depressed. colin dies.

• 01 the prisoner ✩✩✩
  • they keep guillermo in a cage, then become the leaders of the vampiric council (invited by the guide, taika cameo)
• 02 the cloak of duplication ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡ ϟ
  • everyone tries to flirt with nandor's crush at the gym. nandor, nadja and colin frighten some young vamps who dislike the council.
• 03 gail ✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nandor's girlfriend gail turns out to be a werewolf. (twilight baseball scene). guillermo is jealous. laszlo and colin disassemble and assemble a car.
• 04 the casino ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡
  • in atlantic city with seanie. they can't sleep, guillermo gets their soil back. nandor's depression starts.
• 05 the chamber of judgement ✩✩✩
  • nadja and nandor (and guillermo) give out sentences. guillermo sits on the throne and helps derek. seanie starts a mlm pillow business, laszlo is his judge
• 06 the escape ✩✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • the sire escapes. guillermo leads the hunt. nandermo slap, laszlo swallows a harmonica.
• 07 the siren ✩✩
  • laszlo and colin meet a siren. the nadja doll escapes, jumping from body to body
• 08 the wellness center ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡ ϟ
  • nandor's ascention day, but he's depressed. it's been- one week since you looked at me...
• 09 a farewell ✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nandor goes into super slumber. party at the residence, and colin turns 100 and dies
• 10 the portrait ✩✩✩ ϟ
  • they grief colin robinson (while getting a portrait painted). nandor plans his trip (and fights guillermo), nadja gets a job in london. laszlo finds baby colin robinson and betrays guillermo.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 4 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: 3.6✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ child (and later teen) colin. nadja's nightclub and the guide. nandor tries to find love (and gets married). the djinn.

• 01 reunited ✩✩✩✩ ϟ ◬
  • they all come back. dad laszlo. nandor makes guillermo his best man. nadja has the idea for the nightclub.
• 02 the lamp ✩✩✩
  • the djinn. nandor wishes his wives back. laszlo therapizes the guide. preparations for the nightclub.
• 03 the grand opening ✩✩
  • the nightclub opens. hiring a rapper. nandor and guillermo plan nandor's penis wish.
• 04 the night market ✩✩✩
  • the wraiths want better treatment. nadja barters in the night market, laszlo shows colin that fairytales aren't real, guillermo and nandor (fake-)fight
• 05 private school ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡ ◬
  • they act like parents to get colin into school. nandor's face is terrible.
• 06 the wedding ✩✩✩✩✩ ♡ ϟ
  • nandor gets married to marwa. the baron has a makeover with nadja and the guide and later is back to his old self.
• 07 pine barrens ✩✩✩✩
  • nandor, laszlo, child colin and sean go to a hunting cabin. nandor and laszlo fight. jersey devil. meanwhile, nadja has a girl's night (mamma mia) and guillmero invites his family to the residence. guillermo comes out.
• 08 go flip yourself ✩✩✩✩
  • renovation tv show. it turns out to be simon the devious trying to steal the witch hat.
• 09 freddie ✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nadja needs a replacement for baby colin in the nightclub. colin grows up to a teenager while on tour. nandor clones guillermo's boyfriend.
• 10 sunrise, sunset ✩✩✩
  • teen colin grows up and is normal again. the nightclub tries a few last things but ultimately is over. guillermo goes to derek asking him to turn him.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 5 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: ?✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ guillermo hides his new semi-vampire-status and the others slowly learn about it. nadja has a hex on her and tries to connect to little antipaxos people. laszlo experiments on guillermo. the guide wants to be everyone's friend.

TO DO

• 01 the mall
  • __
• 02 a night out with the guys
  • __
• 03 pride parade
  • __
• 04 the campaign
  • __
• 05 local news
  • __
• 06 urgent care
  • __
• 07 hybrid creatures
  • __
• 08 the roast
  • __
• 09 a weekend at morrigan manor
  • __
• 10 exit interview
  • __

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

—— season 6 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ (season avg: ?✩)

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ currently airing. and yet i'm already rewatching it.

• 01 the return of jerry ✩✩✩✩
  • they wake their old roommate jerry, who stirs shit up. guillermo lives in laszlo's old shed.
• 02 headhunting ✩✩✩
  • guillermo gets a job at a firm, and nadja and nandor follow him there to keep an eye on him. laszlo and colin build a monster out of body parts.
• 03 sleep hypnosis ✩✩✩✩✩ ϟ ◬
  • they all sleep hypnotize each other, which ends in guillermo temporarily being back to his own self and applying to the job of being nandor's familiar again
• 04 the railroad ✩✩✩
  • sean wants to get a job at the railroad, so they make a fake office for him. guillermo has to fire nandor.
• 05 nandor's army ✩✩✩✩ ϟ
  • nandor goes insane after guillermo fires him, and creates an army in an old warehouse.
• 06 laszlo's father ✩✩✩
  • laszlo's dad comes back as a ghost, and he and colin try to bond with him. nadja and nandor think the neighbors are shapeshifters.