⚑ nightmare | ✸ lucid | ♡ why can't dreams be real?

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— august 2023

• it's the last day of school (with my middle school colleagues) and one of the girls puts on a "fashion show" with her mom. she asks me to be in it, and i join at the very last minute.
• a friend of tanja's is in our kitchen and says she decided to get a tattoo of someone's face on HER face. we try to dissuade her, but she has made up her mind. eventually she is crying because we do not like her idea.
• me and my tanja are in my bedroom. i have new red bedsheets with strawberries on them. we swat a bee that was on my bed. then, we both feel as if a giant, invisible paw held our foot in place. we freak out. it turns out our lives were just the cover art of some horror game, so that was why we were screaming.
• i'm in my parents' garden with some other people. it's winter, and i hear a trickling, small river next to the bushes. the surface is frozen over, but the water underneath is running. i decide to waterbend it up through the ice. behind the bushes is a big, dangerous animal/pokemon. katara(?) warns me that i'm not good enough of a waterbender to do this, and tells me and someone else to run away. we run to the small hut, but there is another big pokemon. katara and me fight it, she waterbends, and i (attempt to) earthbend.
• i'm borrowing a very heavy backpack from a friend of a friend, and we walk through the city and eventually to a little store. there is amazingphil, because he happens to do a meet-and-great there. he says hello (i accidentally bump into him and apologize in German), then we have to join the queue for a long time. at some point we're in front of a closed door and one of my friends presses the fire button in an attempt to open it, and we have to go to the police precinct. there, 3 men know me. there is also gal gadot for some reason. we have to fill out forms on our phones, but they are so small that it's almost impossible to fill out, and very stressful
• it's recess at school for two hours, and i play rugby with some boys, but it's weird rugby - one part is just crawling on the floor. a guy asks me if i have elbow and knee pads, because i will need them. later i toss him around and he dies, and there are pokémon all around who mourn for him, but it turns out he wasn't dead after all
• ♡ i see arin and dan smooching in the water
• i'm getting my pictures taken with tanja, and the photographer gives her different jackets and puts her on a spot where the sun shines in beautifully, just before it vanishes. i look into the distance and see flying dinosaurs / dragons which look very dangerous, including a flying t-rex ("yes, i just said that. a flying t-rex.")! i ask them if they are not at all worried about them, and they are not. i take tanja's hand and run away with her, telling her that that is my nightmare and she should stay close. as i run i think about turning it into another, better nightmare, such as falling from a high building. but i don't, and we run over some mountains to our parents' house and climb up the wall (i'm pulling us up by my fingernails, tanja is on my back) to the balcony, where we catch our breath.
• ♡ dan avidan posts shirtless pictures on him sitting on a couch on instagram. the caption says that he is more comfortable in his body now than before. super wholesome.
• in my family's old stuff i find a game that looks like our old pokédex, except it's not red, it's blue, and it's called "dracula". the pixel graphics are weirdly amazing for the time, and i am really excited about owning it.
• i am in a uni course, and the professor asks me if i know what a word means, and i laugh - because i have never heard it before - and say no. karin, who is also there, pipes in with the exact definition and etymology of the word (it was one of those double-clocks for chess?)
• ✸ (a series of very short dreams, all lucid) i let things happen, knowing that i am actually asleep. in first-person i walk through rooms as they change around me. at some point there is a talking horse, then a water slide, and a room filled with waist-high water. later there is an amusement park ride with a few people i know watching, and (being very lucid) i ride it: my upper body is strapped in, while the thing rotates, whirling me horizontally about
• uni starts again, and i didn't plan anything or prepare myself at all. i am late to all of my classes. one takes place in kurtis conner's basement (which is a mix between a home cinema and the set of teletubbies - as a joke, of course), and kurtis is the professor. i only catch the very end of the lecture, then i go somewhere else. i recognize none of the university buildings and get lost between a door that opens vertically and you have to push a button to open. later i run/fly away from someone who is following me, and find (and eat) and bunch of chips that i find in one of the buildings
• i play some sort of mario game, but then it is a horror game and i need to find the impostor. i am in an office building, and see a man sitting at a desk, and think it is him - but then i realise that it's jarvis! there are also jordan, chadchad and some other youtubers i like. with them (and crowley and aziraphale?) i make myself a nice evening somewhere. later, on a very beautiful beach - more beautiful than i have ever seen, and completely empty, during dusk - i jog, and later rollerblade.
• there's weird snow that doesn't melt in my parents' garden. beneath the vegetable garden some icy rivers have melted and there is a crack in the ground, showing waterfalls underneath. i want to take a picture of this.
• i read a fairytale about a little girl in a blue dress. she visits a house that belongs to an evil mother and her children: three petulant sisters, which introduce themselves in turn by a normal name and a nickname. the girl (now me) continues through an archway into a beautiful brick-floored courtyard, and there is a horse. she feeds the horse bread, but the horse wants more, and more, and more. (the fairytale is about not giving someone what they want, because otherwise they will get greedy.) the horse threatens to eat the girl! she hurriedly spreads apricot jam on some bread to give the horse.
• crowley and aziraphale are teachers on a big school sleepover. they kiss, and one of the other teachers sees. the next day, they come back to talk to him (dressed in their normal clothes, which are victorian), but he promises them that he won't tell anybody.
• david tennant goes swimming somewhere near me, and i meet him and take a selfie with him. meanwhile, the t-rex model from the original jurassic park is put outside of my window of my childhood bedroom, and i want to film it because it looks cool.
• some guys from highschool make a flash game, and on my way home (i have to carry a lot of stuff because it was the last day of school, and just missed a tram) i find (in a second hand store) a boardgame one of the guys made. it actually turns out to be a little casket / jewelry box made from wood that resembles a miniature kitchen. i love it a lot. it has very realistic looking apple pie on a plate, as well as salad with tomato slices.
• there's a skunk near my parents' house and i warn my mom not to get too close so it doesn't feel threatened. she does anyway, and then everything stinks.
• my cousin thomas tells me that he has been working for smosh for the last decade. i am super excited and wonder how this has never come up
• tanja buys a second-hand disney book and thinks it's a new story. i tell her that it's just 'finding nemo' in a foreign language. i skim through it and see the word 'cur', and realise it is latin. it's actually a latin workbook that becomes more difficult the further the story is. i tell her that i want it, and she doesn't need it anyway.
• i'm at an h&m and see nandor crying over some information about his homeland Al Qoulnudar
• i'm back at my old job and there are a bunch of new rules that i do not know, and everything changed. later i am going horseback riding and there is a thunderstorm, and i bend lightning in my parents' garden

— july 2023

• i am playing a game that seems to be a mix of sims and an old pokémon game, and am building a house. next to me people are also sitting on computers. a person comes around and hands out surveys about what we like about sims. i tell them that it's weird how they think every single person on this earth has played sims at some point.
• i dance in the public pool. then i have to go to the toilet, and after that i dive from the 10m platform. underwater, i see a woman in a wheelchair that is drowning, and i pull her up.
• our attic is huge and filled with old memories and children's toys, even multiple bicycles and old clothes, paintings, towers of cereal boxes, photographs of my grandparents (including the grandmother i never knew when she was a young woman) and so on. i wonder: is it possible that we have all this? or is this a dream? at first i am convinced, but as i see more and more stuff i realise that this is probably a dream.
• ⚑ my programming teacher shows me a different setting so that my code compiles much faster. i try to remember the setting and set it on my personal computer, but i just keep forgetting whenever i switch. i get really frustrated, because the lesson is over now and i have to go home.
• there is a good omens movie in the cinema, and i'm going to watch it. but the movie keeps breaking the whole time. at one point we do a bus tour through the city to pass the time until it is fixed. but that takes ages and i flee back to the cinema. there is the cast from dance academy but i don't have time to talk - i run back to the room the movie was in. but it's showing a different movie already. then i tell all this to tanja and michelle.
• i go outside with tanja and point out a red shooting star. it turns out to be a meteroid, and explodes. it starts to rain lava, and we all rush inside, and i also get my cat and my horse to go into the house.
• anna was in game of thrones as a background actress. i visit her one day, through a confusing cemetery (but thankfully i have a minimap). later i see that my whole hometown is dedicated to just one scene of game of thrones - that's how big of a deal it is. the scene is with horses. i see the carriage props and my old religion teacher is taking care of the horses.
• i sit in a bus, waiting for it to drive away from the stop. then, outside, i see drew gooden! and he actually chooses the same bus, and sits down beside me. i say hi and that i know him and that i'm happy he's in the same bus. it's very casual, and he's friendly.
• i'm on our terrace with my family and relatives. there are many different cats around. one eats some of our food!
• i am at a hotel with some sort of detective (sherlock?). we look through all sorts of different rooms, in which there are various people. it feels like a real-life 'cluedo'. i think to myself: i need to remember this! this would make a great book! at one point we go into the zoo, and the detective tells me to show him my favorite animal. i show him the sloth, which is right there at the entrance. later (back at the hotel) it turns out they were looking for me the whole time, and i get arrested. in the bus there is dream with me on a bench. later i am on a beach with my cousins. i have some colors that i smear on my face, and the red one looks like blood, which is cool.
• i live right next to my parents' house with anna, where my neighbours used to live. we're here as a stop before driving to anna's parents' house, getting a few things we need such as a miniature of the house built in playmobil. as we approach our house we see a creepy old female neighbour with a pink chainsaw peeking through the front door. i confront her in her own house, saying that we are great neighbours because we don't party or drink or do drugs and that she should be thankful. then i see her dog, who has matted fur, and she says i can take it. anna and i call him smokey (not jupyter, as i keep misremembering) and i slowly let him get accustomed to the water hose, with which i give him a very nice and playful bath. later i shampoo him (during this he is anna, then not anymore) and then he looks completely different - much younger and happier, with no matted fur.
• manuel's bedroom door is now in the laundry room because he expanded his bedroom where is door used to be so that he watch tv easier. later i am playing soccer with some middle school girls, and after that we go to the middle school and i do backflips on the trampolin
• ♡ there are several entertainments in my old school. in the basement, secretly, there is a disco with bad music. somewhere else is a disco with better music. somewhere on the first floor is a cinema, with a somewhat-soft staircase instead of seats. this is where i invite jemaine clement to, but as i walk into the hall some friends of mine recognize me. i have to make an excuse to leave again and sneak back in to get a seat at the very top, next to the wall. jemaine sits down beside me.
• i am back in my old highschool class, and see two of the boys kissing on the table. i text my friend about this, finding it amusing that we were right about them. later my other friends have some kind of exam about analyzing poems, and i try to help them. meanwhile, i'm at ikea shopping for a folding chair, but the ikea closed 1 minute ago and i can't pay.
• an adolescent t-rex is chasing me, but i'm not very scared. later i play an irl version of a mario game

— june 2023

• some hogwarts teachers become obsessed with angry birds, including snape, who turns into my teacher haynaly from high school
• me and tanja are on a bus on our way to a winx conventions, and the winx girls are there in the bus with us! that's when i realise that i left my cosplay at home, and almost everything else too! i ask mom if anna could send it, if the post would be able to deliver it on the same day. meanwhile, tanja is taking a shower and her new ear piercing in shooting blood.
• i am fighting a war as a leader. we are on the top of some stairs, and we got to the treasure (playmobil gold such as a treasure chest and a cutlass, playmobil-sized). the enemies are behind us on the stairs. i tell my people not to go down to where they are, because it is dangerous. suddenly one enemy is here, and i try to shoot but i have no ammo left. the enemy shoots us with a shocker gun (the kind police have).
• we look into the sky and suddenly there are about fifty comets a second, they vanish really quickly but new ones appear from all directions. later, when we try to find out what is happening, we are in a movie theatre. peter dinklage asks my brother what "i touched your eye" means in german, and i tell him, then he explains that he has done so, and by doing so has enchanted us. we saw something else happening, but in reality monsters were following us.
• i draw bill hader in a pink t-shirt that says "SLUT"
• i print a really big, fat book of everything i have ever written. it is beautifully bound like a bible, with golden decorations. it has my entire life story in it, so i ask tanja not to read it while i'm gone.
• i'm on the street with tanja and we see a cat fight an ozelot. i say, "wow that's an ozelot!". tanja says "no, it's not!"
• tanja and me are putting on motorcycle helmets, because we want to drive to uni (for the first time). later, i try to take a selfie with our old video camera, but it has an annoying 3 second delay. manuel shows me that i'm just too stupid to use it.
• one of my friends is a writer, she has published several teenie books, including one with a friend group of vampires on the cover. she then talks about a tv show she made about monsters, and i look at a screenshot and ask about the dinosaurs on it, but the main character is actually the turtle that i didn't see
• i am sitting in the passenger seat in a car. the driver is a mix of kayvan novak and another cool famous guy. i am excited! and i notice that he has big nostrils.
• i'm in my parents' house, and we see a lynx down at the forest. quickly we rush into my bedroom, where i have binoculars. but we were too slow, we can't find them with the binoculars.
• there is a technology that reanimated people into different bodies. my uncle kurt is a horse, his snout is really soft. another guy gets reanimated into a new body, and he (my pov) walks along the beach with another guy, who flirts by throwing shells (and jokingly a washed-up dead squid) to him
• i watch a movie about a snowboarder that stars josh dun. tyler joseph also has a cameo. later there is a scene with bill hader, that tanja and i find funny.
• a bunch of animals escaped from the zoo and are chasing me, like a tiger. later a horde of apes is chasing me, and i dive into a lagoon (which has turquoise, warm water) to escape them. as i hold my breath i look up, and see the shadows of the apes jumping over the water. i quickly get out once they are gone, and flee to my neighbors. there are two giant horses with saddles on them, and i get on one of them and ride away as fast as possible
• i have a pronunciation class with tanja from midnight till 3am. we drive there, then notice it's only 9pm, so we have to wait so long. i have a great idea; i suggest that we watch a movie in the cinema, whatever they are playing. tanja drives us there, but she is a terrible driver, forgetting break when waiting on a slope, etc.
• i can jump over high fences extremely well. i (and the other people) are all wearing goggles. a guy tells me that i have pretty eyes (when i am wearing goggles). i look into a mirror, but i don't look like myself at all (young and asian!). later the world is ending and i steal makeup so i can at least die pretty
• i have an exam and am doing horrible. later, some people arrive in the car from the barbie movie trailer. they say they got it for a good price because they negotiated. afterwards, i play minecraft, but in every new world i create i spawn in the middle of hundreds of spiders
• i'm looking for a summer job and there is one available where all you have to do is participate in a theatre group and you get paid a few hundred bucks. but i'm not sure if it's legit. later i'm somewhere with harry styles and have to entertain people
• hugging colin robinson from wwdits
• i see (on tumblr) that there is a music contest, with one participant from each country. i see karin as the participant from austria and get really excited, and show tanja, who reacts the same way

— may 2023

• me and anna walk onto an escalator and instead of going up to floor 7 it goes all the way up to 30+. later i have a cute, small pet snake that is very intelligent and can transform itself into a cake.
• i'm writing a story about being up on a hill. then the story is a board game that tanja and i know, and i'm explaining it to anna. we have a new version, and it's beautiful, even has little ornamented bags to put the pieces in. it starts with a riddle ('the compass shows north in every direction, where are we?') and someone says 'at the north pole' but someone corrects 'no, it means we are at the south pole!'. also, the bad non-player character follows us every turn the amount we rolled.
• watching a show about someone fighting people underwater. the trix (from winx club) are there, and a pokémon battle starts! later, the animators are discussing acronyms for the different scene types (BAT for battle scene, MGT for magical girl transformation)
• ♡ helping out danny gonzalez by cleaning his kitchen during a cooking stream. he asks why i am not saying anything, i say it's because i am a helper and not a content creator. he enourages me to say or do something
• feli has a few tiny kittens and we have to kitten-proof our house. i want to volunteer my bedroom for the kitten, but then realise that it's the worst choice, because there is a staircase without a railing
• ⚑ handing in my microfiction essay and the professor gets really mean saying that it should have been 10 pages, not just 3.
• i'm in a world war (1? 2?) and there are zombies. the backstory is that the main character is in love with kirsten dunst. then a building falls, and me and tanja have to run away from it, jumping over the roofs of cars to not get squashed by it. later i hide in the grass from a guy with a shotgun, who i then convince that i actually am on his side. he gets suspicious of me as he sees the twilight book i am carrying around in my (overspilling) backpack. i tell him i only read it ironically. i think about the fact that i should text my family that i'm alive, but i do not because i do not have time. i then run away from more bad guys up stairs, get to the top floor where there is a group of people who have escaped there, they give me a cookie. i say they should escape out of the window, but they say they can't open the fly screen, but i somehow manage. we then get duffel bags which are parachutes and drop out of the window one by one, landing safely on the ground. there is a training montage of all the wounded people, including me, and time passes until finally the war here is over as the (very old-timey colorful) planes above us fly to france. then there mason verger from hannibal (guy with fucked up face) and i ask the actor if he looks like that in real life too. he says yes, and shows me his real face, which is mostly a robotic face on a head stump. the credits roll, and the main character (who has long hair now) is reunited with kirsten dunst on a bus.
• driving through the border to italy (which is just a tiny bridge) and saying bye to my family because i'm going hiking. i go through a gate into a national park, and right behind it is a violent wolf who tries to kill me. at one point he starts talking and transforming into a werewolf-like creature.
• ⚑ i 'wake up' in my bed and suddenly anna (who hasn't been here for two weeks) is lying in the bed next to me because she came back early. i am really freaked out, but realize that i'm just dreaming. i wake myself up by jumping out of the window. again, i 'wake up' and anna is there, but i still feel as if i'm dreaming, so i just out of the window again. this time i just land on my feet because we are on the bottom floor of my aunt's house, so i climb onto the roof of the highest house and jump again. again, i land on my feet, and now the dream characters start to worry about me. desperate to wake up, i pretend to have a gun in my hand and 'shoot' myself in the mouth. it works, and this time i actually wake up (alone).
• (✸) i fly out of window in my childhood bedroom, and there are other houses than what i'm used to, so i fly to them, making sure i fly high enough so i won't land, because i know i won't be able to start flying again. i fly over a village which slowly becomes a city as i continue. somewhat lucid, i continue flying. the city and the people look like out of the 70s. as i continue flying, the time goes back further, to what could be the 30s.
• i see a tourist spot with the harry potter luggage halfway through the wall, and want to visit it. it's inside a house, down dark hallways. it's then a portal thing from stranger things: there's a floating truck and so on. it's creepy. i take a picture, but accidentally leave flash on. the portal is angry about that, and one of the floating things (a shopping cart?) starts chasing me. i run away, and am saved by a video game character with blonde hair and light blue face paint who shouts "i invoke the hawkins law!"
• i am in my parents' bedroom and look up at windows i have never noticed before. then i find a chest with an old scroll in it, which tells of a witch judge who made a test/judgement about the magical abilities of my dad's lineage.

— apr. 2023

• being in a car accident / fire / explosion with dad and tanja. later it's easter, i'm at my cousin's house (who has a wall full of board games) and i get my easter present: a jausenbrettl
• wanting to try out a bikini in a dressing room but it takes me what feels like half an hour to undress, and then i wake up before i see the outfit
• dean winchester gives feli ear piercings. we get angry at him because it hurts feli. this happens at the wedding of my cousin.
• going shopping with the himbo from highschool. dream and george are there.
• being back at work, and my boss shows me that i have to make a newsletter for a call girl service. i get uncomfortable.
• i am in the cinema, and everyone has to wait for ages for the movie to start. someone asks a trivia question about dinosaurs, and i know it, and they roll their eyes as to say "she's so smart"
• playing on a limited minecraft map with my cousin(?). the world continues spawning in one direction, and i see the rare 'abandoned city' biome. it is huge, dilapidated skyscrapers (a la the last of us).
• my dad put penne noodles into the dishwasher. they are wet afterwards.
• having a baby/cat. the baby is very wrinkly. i panic because i do not know how often i have to take it to the vet.
• finding an animation made by the animator who does nsp music videos, and it's about my mom. later it is about dnf, but with a pre-face reveal dream design (blonde etc)
• mom gives the master bedroom in the house to tanja, and i get jealous and angry, asking her why tanja gets it and not me
• meeting mr beast while on vacation... twice
• i have an operation on my throat, and so does arin. i wait patiently on the news on whether he survived it or not
• i am in a pool and pretend to be evil. i dive, then waterbend and make waves.
• living in a giant, modern mansion which is symmetrical - the right side belongs to my parents, the left one is mine. i don't have a lot of cutlery yet. on the bottom floor are the biggest rooms; on my parents' side there is one classroom (my high school databases teacher walks into it) and one private church, where ms ulz has hypnotized two people to play the piano (their eyes are gray and whirly). later we get attacked because one of us is the chosen one from harry potter, or we have an important necklace, or something like that
• going on a school ski strip with rhys darby. he counts us in the bus. later, during dinner, i say "can we all just appreciate that we have a celebrity with us?"

— mar. 2023

• i am in a wonderful romantic relationship with liam hemsworth (for some reason). later, dad is helping me board up the windows of my house with cardboard
• winning squidcraft. later i miss my bus in the city but i still find mom and tanja next to some lockers. we then go to a breakfast shop to get some delicious scrambled eggs and fresh bread rolls that smell fantastic.
• ♡ watching a video where george kisses dream lovingly, i gasp and want to show tanja.
• i am in a movie in a school, i am the main character (sandman?) and i have a shotgun and a pistol, and i know how to use them. i fight against someone, at one point hiding in a bathroom and checking if i still have ammunition left. later there are many kitties, and also my pet dragon (?)
• seeing many luxury houses that look like objects (e.g. chair) and toys (e.g. playmobil house), and wanting to move into them. then writing down my dream.
• ⚑ me and tanja are in my childhood bedroom, she says the famous poisonous "ice queen" is there. i look, expecting a big spider, but it's a butterfly/moth. it flies into my face (and i wake up)
• thetwif is in an episode of a tv show i'm watching, she is being interviews about her childhood. i say to tanja "yeah, she told me that too, once"
• ♡ i start a new minecraft server and build a water elevator. george, sapnap, tina and a few others join me, and i am so happy they choose my server as their next main server to play on. i promise them to add some anti-griefing plugins, and they say it's a good idea. sapnap hums a love song while making eyecontact with me.
• ♡ me and others are in a swimming pool. two men in the pool have bleeding hands. one of them leaves, fleeing to the restroom. i follow. it's robert pattinson. i take his bleeding hands gently and tell him to rest.
• sebastian from high school points out that my spotify profile is not verified. i say it is intentional. together we make a project to prove how unsafe it is, impersonating our teacher and breaking up with her abusive husband. later, the teacher (visibly upset) asks who it was. nobody says anything. i say something about having had a crush on flo in highschool, and julia from middle school starts teasing me about how it was obvious and i was so embarrasing, so i get mad and say loudly "it was her!". eventually it comes out that it was me. paul dano is there, and doesn't forgive me. he walks past me, holding my hand, slowly letting go after a few seconds (there is a timer counting the seconds). the boys in the class are really into art suddenly.
• i have recently moved somewhere, and there is a forest in walking distance. i go there for the first time, and it a gorgeous forest with insanely thick trees. but then i notice that there are real dinosaurs in there, and they are hunting me down. i barely escape.
• me and my middle school friends are in the schoolyard of the middle school. frau brandl tells us to take portraits of each other, i take one of lisa. there is joe jonas' child, and later also father. we play with the child. after a while all the students leave (some to play dungeons and dragons), and i spot paul dano, who has been crying. i ask him if everything's okay. he says he's collecting money for his church (he has a notepad with a table of donations), and i want to cheer him up so i plan on giving him 50 bucks.

— feb. 2023

• sam and dean from supernatural have crowley bound in the back of their car because they can't trust him yet. to prove to him that they can trust each other they kiss him on the lips
• driving home from a shopping trip with tanja and mom. tanja is driving, the road is slippery, she can't control the car. later i see david tennant and his daughter dancing on the street in matching clothes
• flying down to the edge of the forest at home (behind my neighbor's). it's night, so scary, and i keep hearing animals move around. to look down without being scared i climb unto a tall tree stump and sit on it, but it falls over and i have to jump off and climb on another one. there is a guy on a tractor in the forest and he points and me and says "girl, smile!". i think he means me but i turn around and there is a young, asian girl behind me, who he means; they can't see me, i'm a ghost to them.
• ♡ the tenth doctor (from doctor who) and me running towards each other happily, and i jump into his arms and we hug
• having a birthday party for me with all my relatives, and dan avidan is here and singing for me. the party is then all of us playing minecraft (irl). i try to find the fortress, we are underground and i am giving them instructions on how many torches to use etc. there are guardians (from zelda breath of the wild) in the tunnels, so we have to be careful. eventually, we find a library and i cut open the floor to find a terminal to activate with my sheikah slate.
• alice in wonderland with a wristwatch that is a live owl's head (just the head), and another girl i can't remember, but who can climb really well.
• i'm in a stadium for an icehockey game or something, but it turns out to be professional bob sledding. the lookalike-camera zooms in on someone next to me. later i see ian and anthony and know that i get to meet them.
• temporarily moving into my neighbours' house with anna. it's old and dirty, has no heating (only a fireplace) and - i slowly realize - not even walls. since it's winter i ask my neighbour how she even lived there. she said she sleeps at her grandma's during winter.
• feli has a baby kitty, which is also black and white. another cat's paws are frozen to the ground in front of our house, roswhita helps it and hands it to me.
• ♡ there's a convention for dream and i talk to him at one point, trying to cheer him up
• i am a supermarket, buying a drinking glass (but it's broken, so i tell my cashier, lisa from middle school), and the guy behind me asks if i can pay for his stuff because it's only a milka naps. i say okay but then he puts some fish on there too and it's 10 bucks at the end, and i try to get him to pay but he doesn't.
• i wake up in my hotel room and look out of the window. there is a crowd of fangirls, one is a sapnap cosplayer who i talk to.
• i am an actress and re-doing a scene, and i'm really proud of how good i am acting, but the director says i suck and gives me more acting classes to do, which i look forward to

— jan. 2023

• me and others are somewhere inside with public toilets, there are velociraptors and we are hiding from them. later a mass of people wants to walk in, i beg florian to help me distract them so they won't go in.
• ♡ good omens ship is canon: aziraphale falls down somewhere, and crowley catches him bridal-style, then smooches his cheek. it's adorable!
• ⚑ i'm in a group of people, some of us are werewolves (2 adult guys, and me - it's a secret!). one of them transforms into a werewolf and i go back to him and whisper to him that i can pretend it was me, so his secret is safe. as i walk back to the group, my teenage friend teases me that i'm in love with lupin (who i just whispered to). i say to him that i wasn't even sure it was him, it could have been the other guy. later there is a dog and it growls at me at first but then loves me (because i am a werewolf), and we howl together. dogs in the vicinity howl too, and then a werewolf. we look up and in the hills is a group of evil, dark werewolves: i gave away our position! we run in the other direction, but there is another group. we can't flee, i say "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry" to my friends because it is my fault, and we are killed by their sharp claws scratching our sides open
• i drive into town with an ambulance driver. one street is closed because something is being filmed - tabaluga (or something like that). two of the people watching get chosen for being in the show: me and my friend! the interviewer is a woman with only one eye, it's a gorgeous brown and her glasses (with a brown tint) make it even prettier. she sits down with us, and we're surrounded by tons of sweets. the interview starts soon, but i'm nervous and go to the toilet, and end up missing it. but there is a huge audience that also gets shown and i am in it. there is some kind of presentation of marvel actors/characters, and tom holland is there talking about a green bracelet he gave to lisa (sits next to me). there is also the hulk, who i make eye contact with. he demonstrates a huge hand in a glass cage that makes the same movements as him but a second delayed. he moves his hand up, and i shield myself from glass shatters because the huge hand does the same and shatters it. but it's only fake glass so it doesn't hurt. in the same moment there is a real destruction noise from somewhere behind the audience. killers are entering the space. everyone runs away, including me. at some point i switch to the side of the killers and kill a security guy and hide behind a door when someone enters the room.
• ♡ meeting captain jack harkness in an office building
• i'm watching dream's vlog. in it, he describes how he was reading heartstopper and couldn't stop looking at george and blushing
• my cousins thomas and phillip build a playmobil mountain, it's beautiful and has many different biomes like in minecraft.
• playing something like world of warcraft and i'm taming my first pet. later, i'm in the cinema with my highschool classmates, and everyone can adopt a penguin.
• starting a programming job again, and anna is also there. i assure her that using git is easy, just three commands. also, we move to a different city, and i promise her that at least the cinema there is really cool
• me and tanja completely clean out the attic somehow. later, i see my middle school friends in town. we start dancing with our old teacher, mrs patmore from downton abbey. i have to leave early because i still have to drive home for four hours
• the dream team is spotted in front of a fountain in my city, and i get really nervous and rush to search for them.
• i compete in a real-life minecraft obstacle course against someone from middle school. i feel like i am doing good, but he finishes faster. we then look at the leader boards and the scores are insanely high, #2 is called "Link"

— dec. 2022

• becoming a professor at university on very short notice, while still studying myself. i do an okay job
• sitting at the table in middle school with my friends and taylor swift
• looking out my window at home and seeing the neighbors exercise together. they also have a new sprinkler for their lawn, and the water hits my window, where one of the tools of dad lies around and gets wet.
• making a fanvideo of a tv show with castiel, but he is a human-sized fly monster. i tell tanja i will photoshop over it
• i'm in the finale of avatar: the last airbender. zuko fights against someone. there is a talking car. someone dies and becomes a ball of light (soul) in the sky. out of a mass of souls emerges a chinese dragon
• ⚑ finding huge luxurious rooms in mine and anna's apartment again. downstairs are several empty living rooms, one just has a dirty mattress. upstairs is a huge bathroom with 20+ sinks all in a row, and above that is a dusty, dirty attic. a cat jumps out at me, i shine in with a flashlight and see many rubber balls. we climb in and find an exit to a part of the garden we don't know, with beautiful statues and many stuffed animals. but then everything crumbles and falls down.
• seeing nina dobrev at the airport and saying i enjoyed her christmas movie "love hard". then the other star of the movie also shows up. suddenly there are famous people all around, and an old coworker of mine, who i know realise must also be famous. it turns out this was a gift from my boyfriend, tom holland, to me. he kisses me right as i wake up.
• there are dinosaurs and other dangerous animals outside, and we need to flee, but dad says to stay two more days until christmas. when we go out a panther attacks me.
• mary and tom branson from downton abbey kissing
• a nice guy in auto-walk mode (he's an npc) pushes me along, we laugh. later i act like i am a professor, and use a ballpoint pen (later sharpie) to draw glasses on my face. later i walk through houses' gardens in the snow, and a hotel has a beautiful frozen fountain. i punch a hole in the ice, all the ice melts, and i run away before they can catch me.
• driving up to the dream team house (it's a villa) and seeing dream in the upper window. i wave.
• drawing the high guy from euphoria
• i'm at an award ceremony for movies and other media. josh dun wins most attractive guy in a music video. at the end, the e-sports category is skipped as usual, the dream smp people are not surprised.
• i run away from a tiger. i try to distract it by throwing a twig i snapped off of the tree it is sitting in. it doesn't work.
• i'm mary (from downton abbey)'s assistant. we go into the stable to get her horse, and there are scary pigs and homeless people attacking us. outside, i talk to violet (maggy smith in downton abbey), who wears a yellow and pink dress.

— nov. 2022

• rebelling against a teacher and climbing unto the roof - it's night and peaceful, i'm almost lucid
• getting my last semester of middle school free because i am such a good student - then doubting i understood the teacher correctly
• going to the cinema with friends and suddenly the gravity changes: i walk on the wall. they ignore and abandon me, i find a giant library with 100-meter-high bookshelves (one falls over), and a church building made out of thousands of small gold statues (i take some), then i meet dustin from stranger things in a park and hug him
• eating a sandwich with onions, tanja tells me to pick them out because the taste will still be there
• i have a child, i carry her around the garden like my dad carried me. there are cows all around, mom and dad have one too, and it has a toothache and they don't know what to do. i offer to ask our neighbours, since they have cows too, and they write me a list of what they need.
• going swimming in the water next to the path between my parents' house and the neighbours. it's cold and dirty, and i have trouble getting back out
• my parents' house flooding, we notice by seeing the water higher than the window in the stairway. we rush down to save some things, like books.
• ⚑ someone has kidnapped anna, i pack my bag full of stuff i might need on the run and then try to flee, but a creepy guy has already entered the garden. i run into the direction of my neighbours and see them all bound and gagged.
• karin and sandra made animations from speedpaints
• seeing a bunch of guys, like a sad clown, in my neighbor's garden from my bedroom window. one of them has an alien skin color and smirks at me
• driving to the usa with florian, siegi, and so on, in a small van
• running away from a group with forced physical exercise with a few others, going through a supermarket together and stealing the new pokemon game by hiding it in my shirt.
• learning how to swim fast in the public pool (by diving the head in). i have my timeturner necklace on.
• anna suddenly levitates above the bed like in the exorcist
• i have my american history exam. it's a tiny train ride through stations with sheets of paper on which the questions are written. the rest is on and around a holiday island. there is a cheap statue of a pirate. the teacher is frau ulz
• gerhard works from my parents' house now (in manuel's room), and eats dinner with us
• fighting against florian at a family get-together, me in a spiderman costume and he in a batman costume, we both have the powers
• i'm added to a chat group with dream, jane austen (apparently still alive), and the author of 'atomic habits'. it's a private group, i'm excited because i could text dream
• ♡ with tanja and dream at a gas station. tanja takes a pic of us, and says that dream looks so beautiful in it that it looks fake
• i'm in school, and dinosaur skeletons come to life. they follow me, and i had first in our attic, then in the secret room next to it, and wait it out.
• ♡ smooching dream on the school grounds
• tanja collects some billiard balls for various sizes at the bus station at middle school. 2 big ones roll away, i run after them and it takes me a while to find them. i also find a kitchen pot under a house.
• we have a family get-together outside, suddenly a werewolf is there. we run into a house, but it jumps through the windows, shattering them. eventually, my uncle shoots and kills it. we then notice than florian is missing; he was the werewolf. he had probably been turned when he was in america.
• i visit the home of a rock band. they sometimes have to hide from sun flares, they die if they go outside during one. there are several guys and a few girls, the main guy has shoulder-long hair and is very nice. they show me a ghibli movie, but later on netflix i can only find its sequel. time passes, and i see an album cover of the same band, now they are all old, but i still recognize them.
• drake and josh replace one of their members with two others, including eddie from stranger things, and rebrand to 'the hellfire club'. close by there is a portal to another place on earth in another time. on the other end is a chinese couple in a restaurant.
• catching huge pokemon in a lake by throwing glittery plates on them. then i go to the next lake, a special one, to catch a mega evolution. the pokemon are huge but attack me, so i have to flee
• going with theddy into a bar. she whispers a secret passcode, and we get to go through and out the back, where there is a townsquare and a party. i am wearing lipstick, but it's smeared and i had no time to fix it. soon there is a scene that theddy spoke about earlier: a dialogue between three characters (the doctor from doctor who, thomas from downton abbey, and an anime character).
• spending new year's in new york city, and the whole city loses power. many people go to the streets to complain
• being good at yoga inbetween class breaks. then the professor walks in - it's ted mosby. the 11th doctor from doctor who is also there, talking to the 12th. a demon possesses someone.
• holding dream's hand while walking down stairs, saying i heard about the hurricane and am sorry, and that there are no hurricanes in austria, only occasional floods. then dream is anna, and downstairs is a family gathering. she doesn't know the name of my aunt, and i for some reason also can't.
• tanja has a pet bird at home, but she didn't close some windows, only the curtains, and i tell her that it flew away. also, we were scared that felix would get to it anyways
• tanja and me are on doctor who with the twelth doctor. he likes me better
• i fly down to the edge of the forest to make a cinematic video of the brass concert going on there with my relatives. then explosions start - someone is attacking the house. i film it and fly away. we finally find tanja in a train with her pet scorpion that she got as a gift
• planning to go to america with some people from middle school. sorting out a huge pile of clothes everyone wore throughout the schoolyear; there is a lot of my stuff.

— oct. 2022

• georgenotfound siting next to someone, camera pans up and - i think it's dream's face, but it's just timothée chalamet
• finding a duck without head and two amputated legs and giving it to a cat
• playing a really fun horseback-riding video game which is old but has good controls (manuel is surprised)
• ✸ transforming a real shark into an ikea stuffed animal. then riding a horse cowbody-style
• meeting dream, shaking his hand, and saying "I love you. the normal way. but also the not-normal way"
• dream and george being on a star trek ship, and they hold hands above their heads
• checking which of my pokemon posts on tumblr got the most notes
• first-person old mario game where i have to dive into deep, dark water to swim through rings. it's scary
• taking a plane to america, but it's open and the seatbelt sucks so i'm scared for my life. also, the plane flies through a drug store where we take a break
• my childhood bedroom is overgrown with long grass, in it i find a capybara. nobody believes me, so i show them the video i recorded with my phone. for once, the video is actually still there.
• ♡ dan avidan calling me to tell me he saw my fanart. (later i accidentally hang up.)
• trying to purchase a lighter so i can buy someone's house down
• ice skating in the horseback riding place
• two kids exploring a creepy old tunnel and realising scientists have secretly studied them.
• dan avidan being in an ad for washing-machine-resistent contact lenses
• working in a church and also online, trying to make enough money like that
• dream and george wrestling in p.e. class
• me and anna having a house by the sea. next day, we and many other people see a big ufo crash next to it. the alien in it is very small.
• ✸ seeing a creepy video on the tv, and using my lucid powers to switch it to peppa pig
• ♡ finding a secret stairway in our apartment, and the upper level has many beautiful antique rooms like a library, master bedroom, hobby room, etc.
• lying in warm snow. finding a wallet, and the owner skiis past and talks to me. then thomas brezina arrives and everyone cheers
• watching 'spirit' on a huge projector screen, and dream — who is there with me — is just as excited as i am. later, at a dinner, i am excited because micheal sheen reprises his role as aro from twilight (i saw him bite someone when i was in the bathroom)
• working in a shop, then the water in the bathtub starts acting weird. not wanting to follow the instructions (putting the water in the toilet) i run away, take the first bus i see (in which happen to be all 3 spiderman actors), and arrive at an ocean in the past, where a giant water goddess walks around and the water is almost overflowing
• i see young finn wolfhard. then i run away, collecting pieces video-game style, through a wonderfully beautiful world that loads in from the horizon; first made out of lego, later minecraft blocks (especially pink wool blocks)

— sept. 2022

• the hedgehog with tiny boots and a jacket that bit tanja and gave her rabies
• fighting a giant squid with my magic wand
• woman falling into the ocean. i say "would be shitty if a shark appeared". a shark appears.
• i'm packing my things at work. rhett and link are my bosses.
• surfing with the help of my water bending powers
• partying with con o'neill and vico ortiz (and tanja, anna, sandra, thomas, ...)
• checking many different bedrooms to search for the person who can complete my quest (a woman looking into a mirror)
• hiding on a tree to escape dinosaurs (again)
• the big bang theory starts with jim parsons and his husband being an absolute power-couple in expensive suits
• stealing a strict parent's child and allowing her to jump into a pool of mud
• being really good at jumping off the balcony without spilling a cup of water (everyone is impressed)
• american troops infiltrating my old wooden hut, i run away and my chicken lays 3 eggs for me, which tips the americans off and they see me again