11 instant throwaway thoughts:

• The problem with staying up all night is that whenever you really need to talk to someone, no one is around to listen. I've realized that I've done this on purpose, but man this habit is biting me in the ass right now.
• I can't go to sleep like this, right now because a.) I've slept for six hours before 1:30 AM b.) I'm hungry c.) going to bed in my condition is a bad omen for the eve of my 21st.

(to be honest, it's probably already ruined but at least it wasn't on my birthday... i guess)

• I might actually blog for the first time in weeks, so that's exciting, sort of. I haven't constructed a complete list in awhile, so it'll be good to leave the night/ morning with something accomplished.
• Need to watch Perhaps Love & 2nd disc of wonderfalls. They both better have happy endings.
• Netflix connected goal: watch at least 3 - 5 movies on instant and finish dead like me season 1. Burn through as many as I can before I need to cancel subscription and mail dvds.
• How I deal with driving is how I deal with life: mostly in fantasy, in reality, horribly, and with heavy reluctance and coercion.
• I'm a self-fufilling prophecy. My words on September 1, 2008 are haunting me right now. I wonder if that's how he felt.
• Was I really always this much of a coward? Where's the fucking yellow brick road...
• This must be stupid but I'm sort of, in a way, glad it happened: a.) I was honest when I said it. b.) I've been living much of my life just like this and it's better I realize it now then later. What better day to start anew then on the eve of your birthday?
• I have lower self-esteem and self-confidence than I originally thought. Mall makeover will now be mandatory.
• I'm still mad at Emmalyn for eating 2.5 long donuts and leaving me and Ervin a half. :/. {like I said, throwaway thoughts}
• I think I will always have a sister complex in which I believe Emmalyn is better than me when I was her age and even now. To be honest, I'm fine with it because I want her to be better than I ever was or will be.