June

• (nightmare) i arrive to move into a new apartment, and it's not at all what i pictured. it's huge, but ugly. most of the apartment is essentially a swimming pool, but the water is filtered from a large fryer that makes up half the kitchen, so the water is oily and dangerous because if you're wet with it and come in contact with water you burn. as a tv there is a projector pointed at a large screen, which is cool, especially because you can watch from the water, but the picture quality is really bad. there are very old-looking, run-down rooms towards the back. through one of them runs a street, which seems unsafe because there is no door to lock. i say this and all my other complaints to the landlord, but it seems like it's too late and i have to live there now, though he is okay with a few changes to the contract.
• me and my schoolmates are locked into our classroom. we're allowed to go to the bathroom, but that's it. we've been there for hundreds of days. every day, we each get a sign-in sheet to sign. there is a rumour that we're allowed to leave soon, and Frau Brandl tells us not to get our hopes up but that we should keep today's sign-up sheet just in case we're released today, because we would want to keep it as a memory in that case. we're all excited that it could happen today. i then say that i need to go to the bathroom, but actually i break out through a window, and it feels great to be outside in the grass. i take things from outside (flowers, etc) and give them to the others through the window while singing a song called "geben und nehmen" (to the tune of "Briefe von Felix")
• i'm in high school trying to catch my train but it takes me too long to empty out my locker (it's the end of the school year soon) so i miss it. i take a different one instead. while at high speed, one guy casually opens the window and climbs through it. there is a loud crack as he's presumably electrocuted to death by the electric lines, and he drops, to not be seen again. everybody panics a bit because they saw someone commit suicide, but the train conductor is trying to gaslight everyone into thinking that he's fine
• i'm walking to my car in the dark (which is somewhere at my parents' neighbours' house) and a man is waiting there trying to rob me. i have a little pistol and point it at him in self-defence. he says he will kill me, so i shoot into the bottom of his chin and kill him. being a murderer, i now have to flee, and do so in a bus. later i look for a gas station because i know that there is a little shop there. i want to buy a disguise, and try on three different wigs. one is very short and bleach blonde, two others are shoulder-length and split-dyed. i try the short blonde one because it looks the least like my own hair. wearing the wig feels like a helmet but it looks real, so i choose it.
• i'm looking at my new apartment. the bathroom is much bigger than it actually is, because the space behind the washing machine's spot extends a lot. there is what appears to be a warm plate to lie on (something like a sunning stone or a sauna) as well as other things. the space transform into a different apartment which is not pretty at all and there is still a lot of stuff in there from the previous tenant that i now need to get rid of, like an absurd amount of keyboards/pianos (4!), some wardrobes etc. i leave and come back with my family, and it suddenly looks very different: the apartment is even bigger and very beautiful. the kitchen is completely remodeled, the kitchen sink is as large as a hot tub and is also the dining table at the same time, surrounding by benches that can also be underwater if one chooses to use the hot tub. one of my aunts (not a real one, she's old and has short wispy ginger hair) asks me which side of her hair looks better. i then discuss with my family how it can be that the apartment changed so much in just a day, and that's it seems like a scam or we must be at the wrong place. then i realise the apartment is basically the upper floor of my parents' house, with the bedrooms intact exactly, except mine which would probably be extended into the attic — the idea of which i do not like. while in the attic, Tanja sets Feli on one of the beams so she can explore as she likes, by I say she's getting too old for that and that it's dangerous
• (nightmare) i wake up on a school day and get ready in the bathroom. i change, and just about finish pulling up my underwear before manuel comes into the bathroom earlier than usual. i then go downstairs for breakfast, and both my parents are up but it's still dark outside which confuses me because i know it's summer. i look at the clocks in the living room and see that it's around 5:30, but dad reminds me that it was the switch to summer time during the night and starts to correct the clocks. later, dad drives me and tanja to school. i somehow had the idea that i don't need to take my stuff with me because i can just get it later, but halfway to school i realise that that is an awful idea. then i'm in high school without my stuff, even without my phone, and have a horrible day, and because i don't have my phone i can't even text anyone for help or go home (because i don't have my public transport ticket or money). one of the bad things that happens is that before the first period starts i spill the cooking oil on my desk (??) and it floods the entire classroom, which i am embarrassed by. at a certain point i go into the girls' toilets to calm down or cry, and january - who is apparently there and saw me in the hallway all upset - follows me in. i am relieved for a second before seeing they have a cigarette in their mouth. i get upset and ask them when they started smoking, and they tell me they've always been a smoker, and act like it's not a big deal. i get really upset because they know i don't like that at all, which makes my bad day even more terrible. i'm heartbroken and tell them to leave. i eventually go upstairs to the media room to have a private talk with lisa and anna-lisa. i find out that lisa also smokes, and generally changed to be a terrible person, and i get really upset and say she shouldn't smoke. she asks why not because "smoking isn't bad", i say it literally kills people. nobody (january and a teacher are also still there) agrees with me, and i feel like the world has gone insane. i mention that it even says the health risks on the cigarette packages, but lisa ignores me. anna-lisa agrees with her. a rowdy crowd of high school boys comes in and i beg them to find a different room because i need privacy right now, but they refuse and even eavesdrop in on my conversation. then lisa offers to call my parents, and i am thankful but she dials the wrong number. i try to correct her, but can't remember our landline number because i haven't used it in so long, so we can't call. i look at my little cheatsheet of information that i carry with me, and it lists many ID numbers, passwords etc but not any phone numbers, and I get even more frustrated.
• (nightmare) after a long search for apartments, i finally decide on one after not looking at it in enough detail. it turns out that it's horrible: it's in a bad neighbourhood (i get assaulted as i want to enter the building), the apartment door is really difficult to find, inside the apartment two of the OUTER walls are missing so you basically live outside, everything is dilapidated and dusty and crammed full with old ugly belongings of the previous tenant, the fridge is super small, etc. i call the landlord and say that i know i already signed but i will be contacting my lawyer because the apartment is not in an okay state. i realise i have to keep looking at apartments, and i do. the next one is in a weird apartment building. at first i walk into apartment no. 1 by accident and scare somebody who was just showering. then i realise my door number is 10. the apartments are all huge and have multiple tenants. the one next to me has its door open so i see that sofija lives there together with a bunch of other university students.
• me, tanja, mom and sandra are in my parents' living room. sandra shows tanja and me a magazine spread that is about her art/design teacher, it's simple illustrations and patterns that are kept in a white and light blue color scheme. i look through the rest of the magazine and see a spread that has square pictures of many different musical artists. i spot rhett and link and show tanja excitedly. then tanja says something about closing the living room door, and mom and me tell her that it just looks like it's a bit open because of the shadow, but i take a closer look at tanja was right.
• i'm in a flying race/competition from the usual sky window to the forest. it's me against some friends, quite casual. our wings are long pieces of fabrics attached to sticks we're holding. manuel gives me the tip to only flap once i'm actually sinking again, which gives more momentum and i fly much higher. we fly over dinosaurs, and then i see dementors below. i say "wrong franchise, but okay!". one of the dementors grabs a wing and u lose altitude. it's okay because i see something on the group: it's video game items: pieces of a gun i have to quickly put together to shoot the bad guys who are there. i think i will lose the competition because the others are far away by now, but a computer voice tells me how many points i get for making the gun (which i guess was a side quest) and that i'm currently in the lead.
• me and tanja start a fire in our parents' house to practice emergency measures, because we can simply turn back time to when it hadn't happened. later, we're in the living room, it's dark outside, i'm talking to mom and suddenly behind her a creepy alien looks into the window. it's quite a stereotypical alien look, but dark gray instead of green, with large black eyes. i am super scared, but the alien comes in and starts communicating with me in an alien language (which is just sign language) and it's actually quite nice. i can understand it, and even respond in sign language. (i say something like: "fire is okay, me and my sister have a tardis". the sign for tardis is of course made up, but the rest is more or less actual sign language).
• we're doing something in the field behind my parent's house and i see a small animal running. i think it's feli, but it actually turns out to be a small, cute black and white dog with floppy ears

July

• me and some others are on our way to somewhere. we know that there are dinosaurs all around us. as it gets dark we decide to spend the night in one of the many abandoned houses. it's old, but fully furnished and decorated in an old-timey grandma-like style. all the windows are open and i quickly close them so no raptors can get it. later, on the balcony (which looks like my parents' balcony but bigger) a bunch of pterosaurs try to get us, but i push some of them off the railing and they fall to their death
• me, tanja and manuel decide to play some barbie flash games. later i'm on a barbie website and there's cute y2k pixel art everywhere. i really want to join. later i also see barbie merch, including cute t-shirts and large tote/beach bags that cost 90€. i consider stealing some of it.
• we're over at my aunt and uncle's house, cleaning the kitchen after some event. i prepare to take home three baguettes that are past their expiry date. i then need to go to the toilet, but realise that they've connected the toilets to the upper floor with large staircases without any doors, so there is no privacy. i get back to the living room and ask tanja if we can go home now. she says yes, to take all the stuff home, but wants to return immediately to help till the fields. i point outside, where it's raining a lot, and dad and i say at the same time: "you're gonna drown in the mud." i remind tanja that we've tried the same exact thing last time at it was a horrible experience. i then see her behind to till the field (which is inside the living room) stardew valley-style. under one of the hoed tiles she picks up a small animal.
• i'm over at january's place (which looks very different). in the morning while they're still sleeping i go outside to go to their basement, in which there is a secret hatch under some stuff. i take something from there, then replace the stuff on top of it. i then start organising the rest of the basement, for example several large empty suitcases, but then realise I should go back in case they have woken up in the meantime. i do, and they're up, saying good morning very sleepily. they point towards vienna, and mumble something. i ask them to repeat. they tell me happy valentine's day, and have fun in vienna (at some convention or meetup). i realise that in the past i've lied about (or was unrealistically optimistic about) my plans on valentine's day so it seems i'm busy. i say i'm 'probably' not going to go, and they tell me that i better, and they'll hold me to it.
• i'm apparently friends with rhett and link (approximately 2014-era, link's hair still goes down). i sit on the side of link during a Good Mythical More about hair dye. rhett sprays some red dye im link's hair, and some hits his face and lips. he takes me and, as a joke, kisses me on the cheek because it looks like a lipstick mark then. later, at home, i realise i was on camera so i desperately try to find that specific episode but i can't find it. i still feel very cool, and wonder what i did to become friends with cool famous people lile that anyways.
• i'm getting a call from someone about my website but immediately need to hang up because i see a giant DEVIL coming towards me. it's huge, red, with horns and flames. i run (or rather, fly) away by using water jets in my hands (which are later just watering cans).
• i have to pack for tomorrow because i'm going in a school winter sports trip. while i'm packing i find my ice skates, and practice with them on the hardwood floor of my parents' bedroom. at first it works well, but then i make a turn and it carves a huge line into the wood. i feel really bad, and later tell dad about it, who says it's fine and he knows how to fix it
• i'm walking along a path with someone, and there's a little cute farm with pokemon, so obviously i stop. later it's a room filled with water, kind of like a small indoor pool, just deep enough that i can still stand. in it are water/fish pokemon (like feebass), and i try to pet as many as possible, but some of them are shy. lated i stand on my parents' balcony and, looking down, see a lot of different pokemon on the field, all of them huge and strange looking (like gigantamax forms), among them is vaporeon.

August

• tanja and me are a dan and phil live show, and during the show dan uses tanja as an example ("and i grab phil like this", grabbing tanja). i'm excited for her but sad he ignored me. then the show is over and he comes up to me and tells me (in german, which surprises me) that my wavy hair looks really nice.
• me, anna and january live together for some reason. our home had a few rooms, and doors connected to it to some larger building (like a hotel) and if i forgot to close some doors i could see the building staff in the halls from my bedroom. january shaved their head into a buzzcut (it later turns into a weird mullet). i talk to them about having multiple names and stage names. later, there's some kind of race or paper chase that i participate in with tanja, and on the way are a bunch of cute young cats.
• i'm taking a vacation alone and am about to get to my hotel. i'm on floor 1, but accidentally get in the elevator and there's other people, so i think I'm just gonna get out on floor 2 and walk past down so it's not so embarrassing to get out of the elevator again. turns out, it's not floor 1 but building 1, and it's not an elevator but a car that goes to building 2, which is apparently far away. the drive takes a while, and the driver keeps trying to sell us pumpkin seed oil, and I (annoyed at this point) ask him whether he is allowed to do that. we get belligerent, but after a while we arrive at building 2 and the other guests get out. i say i forgot something in my car (someone then questions me about how i drove to the hotel and i had to go deeper into my lie), and that i need to go back to building 1, so now it's just me and the driver. he shows me how beautiful the landscape here is. as we're driving through a wheat field the sun is setting perfectly in the center of it and it's gorgeous, so i reluctantly agree with him. the rest of the drive is a series of beautiful landscapes, and i get my phone out to take pictures, but as always the camera is so slow that i can't take any good ones.
• Angelika gifts me a 'running lizard', which has two muscular back legs, and I don't know what to do with it because it will get lost in my apartment because it's so small
• i'm trying to get home from the main train station, but i suddenly can't remember which train i have to take. i think it's platform 1b, so i go there. the escalator now has a traffic light, and i step on at red because i don't know. the traffic light is there because only one person is allowed to run on the escalator at a time. once at 1b i wait for a train, there's a normal one that doesn't drive to where i want, and a "light train" (which looks super futuristic, is white and has lots of lights on it) which goes to (i think) my new apartment.
• i'm playing gosupermodel and catch one of the flying money pigs and it gives me 200.000 goMoney
• i'm at my aunt and uncle's place, working. i keep failing to type a number correctly until i realise that i have to press a weird key for it (e.g. i have to press 9 to type a 7) because of the keyboard layout. i laugh about it with my coworker r. then i almost get caught slacking off on gosupermodel. later tanja and my cousins are there, and lots of cats. two tabbies have a gorgeous orange color with black stripes, exactly like a tiger. mom thinks one of them is holly, and i say no, holly has a gray color like a normal tabby cat. the cats are all very cute and love me for some reason, cuddling up to me specifically, and one even starts sucking my finger.
• theres a mouse in my garden and i try to film it, then, as i'm filming, holly comes and catches and kills it, there's a sickening crunch of bones. then there's another cat, one that hasn't visited: a young black one with a blue collar. i soon realise i'm dreaming because the sky is weirdly dark for the time of day and my apartment doesn't look right.
• me and my parents, at breakfast, are planning to surprise tanja and manuel with a trip to an amusement park. as tanja comes down to breakfast, we stop talking about it. tanja is grumpy because nobody woke her and it's past 8am. i tell her she slept exactly 8 hours so it shouldn't be a problem, but she wanted to wake up earlier still. she complains that the alarm didn't go off, and i remind her that yesterday we changed it to go off 30min later.

September

• me, tanja, mom and michelle are on the terrace of my parents' house, and the large tabby that sometimes visits my garden is there. we decide to name him Keks/Cookie, because in the dream Holly is called something like Sweetie (?). the other cats, like Bibi, are also there. i then realise it makes no sense that they are here at my parents' house and not near my apartment. i say this, and then follow up with something like "idk, dreams never make sense" and michelle agrees. later i have some tape stuck to my finger and everytime i try to remove it, there's more. finally i can get it off, when my finder is already swollen and purple, and it rips of a bit of my skin and my whole hand is bleeding.
• (nightmare) there's hoards of running zombies after me and other survivors (a la the last of us). i know i'm not fast enough so i go into a little shed and bolt the door and grab large hedge scissors as a weapon. first, the zombies come in one by one and i can easily kill th by ramming the scissors into their heads from above. but after a while the shed is so destroyed that many zombies surround me, and i have to run away along the edge of the woods next to my parents' house.
• me and mom move into an apartment that is a hallway (which is a balcony) and three rooms. the left room is mom's. the middle and right room are mine. one is larger than the other, but both have furniture, decoration, and even other stuff like books. i love the furniture and all the space (the large room is very large) that will all be mine. there's a weird desk, but since there is also another desk in the room i realise i could use this one as a vanity and get really excited about it. after a while i realise that, even though the furniture is great and i won't have to pay because i live with my mom, it's still not ideal to live with my mom (i think about having guests who sleep over), and i don't like all the unnecessary clutter that came with the apartment (like the old books).
• i'm watching a new Ten Minute Power Hour, which is about them eating bread with exactly two toppings, and they can choose between butter, mayonnaise and cheese. i notice that dan's hair is straightened (but wavy), he looks gorgeous. they build a life-sized house of cheese blocks with the help of their crew.
• me and a bunch of other people including my middle school friends are in some sort of camp, where it turns out we are actually prisoners. i eat something but feel some small metal piece get stuck in my throat go to the toilet facilities and throw up until i can't feel it scratching anymore. then there's an assembly and we learn that there were tracking devices in our food so that we can't escape. i take juli to the sides and excitedly tell her that i threw mine up so i can escape and get help

October

• i'm standing an in a doorway (i think of his house) and talk to danny gonzalez. i make some dumb joke and he thinks it's really fun and is all smiley and blushy, it's very cute. then he says something about this car, a "honda subaru" and asks whether i know it, and i don't, and he jokingly says i need to look it up, otherwise he won't talk to me anymore
• i'm on a trip with my middle school friends. i swordfight with julia through a portal (my hand with the sword goes through), then jeannine fights me on my side of the portal, but i can't do a killing stab because i don't wanna hurt her. later we celebrate my birthday in the attic of the building, there's three types of cakes and they taste delicious.
• a bunch of my relatives are visiting my parents' house, my cousins are all outside. they are all nudists, and wearing underwear or less. i go outside in underwear, to the garden, where some of them are hanging out. i'm uncomfortable, and decide to start flying, first to the windows of the upper floor and then to the tall tree. after a while the others start to watch me, amazed. sandra, hovering at my height, comes close and says "wow impressive! i can't get to the tree because i can only hover under open sky". we then talk about hamsters dying and Schrödinger' cat.
• (lucid) besides holly and her kittens there are 3 other cats in my apartment. because they keep changing appearance i realise that i'm dreaming. then i try to do things, like practice the pole dance choreo, but the dream characters (one of them is another me) keep being annoying, and the other me doesn't do what i tell her (e.g. move some cars so i have more space) and i get annoyed. later i'm at some kind of party, and there is a small banquet of delicious sweet food. i eat some of it and really concentrate on the taste.
• my friends from high-school perform a poledance show in a small venue, but something goes wrong during the second performance and it ends early, nobody claps. later i'm at a waterpark with them and other people from high school, and i give somebody advice on coming out as gay and getting your heart broken
• i'm on a cruise/trip with some people i know, and except for some British people (Harry Potter characters?) most of us are Scandinavian. someone likes to learn Finnish swear words for fun. i see a stack of haybales next to a tall building and decide to jump into it from the rooftop. even later danny gonzalez shows us a new music video about having sparkling butterfly facepaint (and this being a sign of autism) and a taylor swift music video for a really bad song in which she partially imitates a bird chirping.

November

• there's a test i didn't study for, and the building in some shop (with soaps, nintendo ds games etc) and i nervousl steal something and quickly fly away. later some people from middle school are pressuring me into trying some spicy snack which looks like a burning cigarette butt, and i refuse, saying that i understand how pain can be fun sometimes but i would just throw up and be forever labeled 'the one who threw up'.
• (nightmare) i have to testify against someone i know in court because they killed two people. later he chases me up some tall stairway. i say (referencing my actual dreams about staircases) "you know what i can always do in my dreams? fly. you know what really sucks? falling." as he struggles to not fall, and feel really badass. i'm now in a hospital that's full with infected zombie-people. i run, looking for a safe spot. at the end there's a plot twist to the 'movie' the dream apparently was: i was the bad guy all along! but i don't understand the reveal of the end and think to myself "i have to google an explanation for this movie ending"

December

• (nightmare) i have to go to the vet with holly and the kittens. it ends up being almost a thousand dollars for all the vaccinations, and i'm very upset