my favourites. generated by inspirobot.

• all you need to stimulate a pair of leather pants is an idea and solitude.
• always lick a penis when you randomly run into one.
• artificial intelligence is 70% mindfuck, and 30% mindfuck.
• don't be a penis. burglarize yourself.
• friendship without an enormous dildo is like an audience without cash.
• it's not premature ejaculation. it's modern art.
• swine flu is how evolution says i like you.
• the universe can, in many ways, be considered a nuclear survival shelter.
• vultures: their goal is to fondle you.
• we cannot save the world by lying. we can only save the world by ovulating.
• you are about to turn into a piece of meat. oh yes. an obedient piece of meat.
• you have the power to make it so your best friend's wife gets diarrhoea.
• your body can be like a slap in the face.
• your body is just a sinking ship planning to kill you.