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༉‧₊˚✧ ... fruitier than a fruit salad . . .

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Laurene movies (watched in 2025)
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Bea j u n o
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inara words
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j u n e .

  • week 1 (june 8-14) » Liene is back at the ward and it's upsetting/triggering me; my psychiatrist thinks I have BPD (I agree with her); abandonment fears because of a new doctor and being moved to a different ward; crisis averted - my psych continues being my psych even in a different ward; finally a good mood; mom brought a lot of food; i'm getting discharged next week; coffee at 8AM; oculogyric crisis
  • week 2 (june 15-21) » anxiety; lexotanil; whatsapp group chat "tvaika bērni"; got discharged; no pharmacy had ypsila, but I got an alternative (though it cost 7€); stated reading joel dicker's novel; reunited with my cat; roatrip during the weekend; finally home
  • week 3 (june 22-28) » sleepless night; midsummer; bought the haunting of hill house book; mom angry at me; trying to get high from a nasal syrup; awake mega super early; major restless legs, cyclodol abuse; visited grandma with family

j u l y .

  • week 4 (june 29-july 5) » four sedative meds before sleep and i finally slept; extreme irritability; med abuse; feeling guilty; modern family; drove to help grandma with her store; family road trip to Cesvaine and Madona; OGC
  • week 5 (july 6-12) » OGC; sister visiting; affectionate with Amy; modern family; a new coloring book; walking in rain and out of breath
  • week 6 (july 13-19) » watching the good doctor; splitting on a friend; feeling abandoned by my therapist; feeling better than before; taking meds as prescribed every day; uncle's yacht party; funeral; sister visiting; sister's cat's death; caur ērkšķiem uz; being excited to take each cyclodol dose
  • week 7 (july 20-26) » toy story 4 with sister; vacation at a manor; psych appointment through phone; lithuania and lidl; finished all caur ērkšķiem uz; started the vampire diaries; read the haunting of hill house
  • week 8 (july 27 - august 2) » name day; a new book; crab salad; četri uz koferiem; coke with lemon; cleaned the flat; the vampire diaries; bolt food; spider in the study room; 6 mg bromazepam; gin & tonic; stole xanax; bought DXM; mood is going down

a u g u s t .

  • week 9 (august 4-9) » helping grandma at the store; OGC but cyclodol helped; anxiety sparks; drinking plum juice at night; playing cards; cousin's dinner; buying a gross wine bottle and getting the cork stuck inside; a new book; nanograms and sudoku; OGC; back home.
  • week 10 (august 10-16) » DXM; met up with a friend; therapy in person for the first time in months; DXM; sister visiting; ordering mcd; ordering pizza
  • week 11 (august 17-23) » slept for 16 hours; saw palm springs at the move theater with mom; cleaned the whole flat; gave beer a chance; insomnia; mild psychosis; relapse; artane; a new phone case that has xanax on it; started journalling again; med increase
  • week 12 (august 24-30) » at grandma's with cousin; DXM; OGC; playing cards; kebabs; brooklyn nine nine; sweet potato fries; a lot of laughing; good night's sleep

s e p t e m b e r

  • week 13 (august 31-september 6) » apple cider; depressed; cleaning my flat with mom; paranoia; loneliness; reading midnight sun; staying away from substances
  • week 14 (september 7-13) » uni lectures; staying at parents; job offer; stealing meds; getting used psych books from facebook; missing a night dose of meds; helping grandma at the store; hallucinations
  • week 15 (september 14-20) » x-factor; irritability; lectures; my kettle broke; kitchen table in the bedroom; anxiety
  • week 16 (september 21-27) » visiting parent's, excel job, DXM, OGC
  • week 17 (septmber 28-october 4) » ordering KFC; scheduled an appointment with my drama therapist
  • week 18 (septmber 5-11) » visiting mom, DXM, bly manor on netflix, good therapy session
jun 14 2020 ∞
sep 30 2021 +