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- fck the traffic light is about to light up green, should i run (what if i look stupid, what if something falls out my pocket, what if i don't make it till it turns red?) but if i don't run and it's still the green light but i am certain it will soon turn red.. so if i just stand there people will think i'm stupid.. i gotta stand a few meters away to check my phone and then go stand and wait for the green light when the light turns completely red and the cars start driving, that way i won't look like a dumbass.
- should i say thank you? shouldn't i have been more polite? the cashier is being rude.. the burger she made is sloppy, that's because i was rude apparently so she's rude back.
- repeats the order i need to tell my cashier in head many times, and i still get it wrong, because what if my voice was hoarse or shaking or too quiet
- scared the cashier will give me back a lot of change and my hands will shake and i won't be able to collect the change fast enough for the next costumer to be annoyed by me
- scared that even though i have not stolen anything, every time i walk outside a shop i'm scared it'll beep and they'll think i've stolen something
- scared to accidentally break a bottle or drop something at a store
- scared to drink from a bottle in public because of shaky hands
- scared all my psychs and therapist occasionally will hold a meeting where they all laugh at me and discuss me and what an attention seeking brat i am
- used to be scared to press the button on public transport because i couldn't understand if you're supposed to press it whenever the bus STOPS or you can press it whenever. i just avoided it at all costs and only got out when someone else pressed the button even if it meant i had to walk extra kilometers to get to the house
- i used to live in an apartment building and to enter it the cars drove through a boom barrier and the little gate next to for people was not always open so you had to press this button but i was always scared to press it so i just stood there waiting till he sees me and opens the gate. so to avoid that i just stood and hid close to the entrance of cars and waited for a car to come so the boom barrier will open and then before it closes i can go through it
- once there were guests over that i had never met before and i was EXTREMELY scared to say hello to them. and suddenly i felt like i need to pee SO MUCH. i was holding it in for so long, but i could not go to the bathroom due to social anxiety, so what i did, was pee in a cup. of course i threw it away but i think that's the most disgusting thing i've ever done.
dec 18 2018 ∞
dec 18 2018 +
dec 18 2018 +